zai fuskance ta ba, ta san shi sarai wani dattijon likita ne mara fara'a, sab'anin Dr. Florence mace mai sanyi hali da juriyar sauraro.

"Ba sai kinyi min booking appointment ba, zan dawo wani lokacin."

Ta fad'i hakan tare da wani d'an guntun murmushin dake tsayawa iya fatar baki.

Lokacin da ta nufi k'ofar fita daga clinic d'in, zuciyarta ta gaya mata cewa a yanzu k'addarar mu'amalarta da Adam a hannunta take!

A daidai bakin k'ofar, wata tsohuwar Baturiya ta bud'e ta shigo hannunta rik'e da sandar dogarawarta, a lokaci d'aya Fadeelah taji kanta ya sara sanda ta kalli sandan, kamar kwakwalwarta na son tuna mata wani abu data sani a baya game da irin sandar, kanta ya fara? juyawa a take sannan idonta ya fara yin duhu daga hasken ranar dake dallare a ko'ina.

Ta shiga k'ok'arin rik'e bangon gefe lokacin da abubuwa da yawa suka shiga faruwa a cikin kanta, abubuwan da suka fi yi mata kama da tarin muryoyi na jama'a kala-kala wanda ta kasa fahimtar me suke fad'a da wani irin sauti da take jinsa kamar reza na yanka cikin kanta.

"Lafiya? Me ya faru?

Wata murya daga gefenta ta tambaya.

"Me ya same ta? ku rik'e ta."

Wata muryar a zahiri ta sake fad'a da turanci, hakan ya tuna mata cewar a cikin clinic d'in nan take inda a yanzu za'a iya kwantar da ita a kira su Mami cewar bata da lafiya bayan alk'awarin da tayi wa kanta cewar zata fuskanci dukkan matsalolinta a yadda rayuwa ta kawo mata, kuma ba zata sake yarda ciwonta yayi galaba a kanta ba.

Sai ta saki bangon ta mik'e tsaye sosai ta kalli mutanen dake shirin taruwa a kanta ta cikin dishi-dishin idanunta tace musu lafiyarta k'alau babu komai.

Hankalinta yayi nisa da tunaninta lokacin da ta bud'e k'ofar ta fita, banbancin tafiyarta da gudu kad'an ne, don tana iya jin yadda k'afafunta ke dukan k'asa da k'arfi kamar mai shirin had'a wani sauti na kid'a.

Har a lokacin bata iya fahimtar komai ba daga cikin muryoyin dake ta hawa da sauka a cikin kanta ba, sai wani irin jiri da ya mamayeta ta dinga jin kamar zata yi amai, tana iya ganin yadda mutane ke ta juyowa suna kallonta da tunanin gudu take yi ko tafiya, amma wannan bai dame ta ba neman inda zata fake kawai take yi.

Daga can wani gefe idonta ya hango mata hanyar wani waje mai tarin bishiyu, bata da lokacin tunanin inda ya fishi saboda haka ta durfafi wajen har tana tuntub'e. A k'asan wata bishiya ta zauna ta duk'unk'une jikinta bakinta na furta tarin addu'o'i kala-kala.

Abubuwa da yawa suka fad'o daga cikin jakarta dake yashe a gefe.

***

"Baki kalli wayarki kafin ki shigo ba ko?"

Mami Saffiya ta tambaya sanda Fadeelah ta k'arasa cikin falon.

"10 missed call deelah hankalina ya tashi baki d'auki waya ba, naje har clinic d'in ance kinzo kin tafi, titi-titi duk inda na san kina zuwa naje ban ganki ba."

Sai ta ajiye jakarta akan kujera kai tsaye tace.

"Mami bayan na fito ne kaina ya shiga juyawa shine na sami waje d'aya na huta, amma yanzu naji sauki komai ya tafi."

"Ya salam! Kinga abinda nayi ta gudu kenan, yanzu yaya kike ji? Ta yaya kika iya dawowa gida?"

"Ya tafi ai, na samu waje na huta bana jin komai yanzu."

"Toh shikenan, bari in kira Miryamah in gaya mata baza mu samu zuwa ba, d'azun nan Farouk ya tafi dasu Zahra."

"A'ah Mami, wallahi naji sauki, muje kawai ko mun zauna ba abinda zanyi ai."

"Kin tabbata?"

Ta d'aga kanta a hankali.

"Toh shikenan, jeki ki shirya sai mu tafi."

Bayan ta fito daga wanka, tana nad'a hijabinta a gaban mudubi, Fuskar Al'ameen ta haska cikin kanta. Ya salam! wai meke damunta ne? Tana da tarin abubuwa a gabanta, Al'ameen kamar tsakuwa ne sabuwar haihuwa a cikin kanta, me yasa tunaninsa zaiyi girma ya dame ta a d'an k'ank'anin lokaci?

Ta danne k'arshen hijaabin da pin, sannan ta jawo wayarta cikin jaka da niyyar fita wajen Mami dake jira a mota, sai dai vibration na alamar shigowar sak'o ya katse ta a daidai k'ofar d'akin.

A lokaci d'aya, zuciyarta ta fad'o har dandaryar k'asa sanda tayi arba da number da sak'on ya fito ta cikinta, star ce guda d'aya tal! kamar yadda tayi saving number ADAM da ita, ba shiri ta bud'e sak'on sai dai abinda ta gani yasa zuciyarta data fad'i k'asa ta rugurguje har garinta.

Jotter ki tana wajena, in case zaki nema baki gani ba!

?%O??%

_A ina Adam ya sami jotter ta?_

_Kenan yanzu ya tabbatar da ciwonta da take b'oye masa?_

_Ya lesson d'insu zai kasance a yanzu da babu Dr. Florence a gefenta?_

_Me yake shirin faruwa a kanta game da Al'ameen?_

BAYAN NA MUTU!

?AYSHA SHAFI'EE

08

(&_&)

"So, kin shirya yin magana?"

Raunanniyar muryarsa ta fad'a yana kallonta daga tsallaken teburin dake tsakiyarsu, ya riga ya gama yi mata bayanin cewa ya tsinci jotar ta ne a k'asan wata bishiya dake gefen gidansu, ya karanta kuma ya fahimci tana fama da matsala ciwon kwakwalwa ne.

Takaicin Fadeelah d'aya ne a lokacin, na yadda jotar? bata d'auke da bayanin tsanarsa ko d'aya kamar yadda ta rubata a ta baya, idan har k'addara ta kaita har gefen gidansu ta yar da ita, ya kamata k'addarar ma tasa ya fahimci yadda ta tsani mu'amalarsu.

Saboda haka rashin rubutawar da bata yi a wannan ba yasa zuciyarta ta cika fal da k'ulli-k'ulli na haushin yadda bai ga ainihin tunanin zuciyarta game dashi ba, ta rasa wanne kuma daga k'ullin zata fara kwancewa.

Adam ya ciji k'asan lebb'ensa kad'an sannan ya juya gefe, bata san yaya yake jin wannan kallon da take masa bane, bata san yaya yake jin kamar idanunta na d'aure shi tsam! da jijiyoyin jikinsa ne ba.

"Akwai wani abu da ake cewa sirri, wanda na tabbata ba'a addinina kad'ai ba duniya gabad'aya ana girmama shi. Me yasa ka bud'a min sirri na?"

"Saboda na tambaye ki kin k'i fad'a min, kuma dole sai da sanin abinda ya shafi sirri zamu iya yin komai, don haka akwai wani abu da ake cewa sadaukarwa ma a duniya don abubuwa su tafi daidai."

"Abinda nayi a baya kenan, shi yasa har ki ka ganni anan."

Kamar ya fahimce ta sai ya gyad'a kai kawai tare da rufe idonsa kad'an sannan ya fad'i abinda ya naushi kwakwalwarta.

"Leelah kina fama da 'Memory loss' right?" (Gushewar tunani)

Bata ce komai ba don bakinta ya k'ulle, ta cigaba da kallonsa kawai ba tare da ko kiftawa ba.

"Ba zan tambaye ki me ya faru ko a wani stage kike ba, don na riga na sami abinda nake nema, na samu amsar da yasa kwakwalwarki take hargitsewa wajen gane Maths."

Sai ta rage kaifin kallon da take masa, mamaki ya sirku a cikinsa.

"Akwai wata cutar kwakwalwa da ake kira 'Dyscalculia' tana faruwa ne idan an haifi mutum da ita ko kuma idan kwakwalwa ta bugu, ta samu ciwo ko kuma tayi rauni da yawa. Nakasa ce da take dakushe b'angaren dake iya rik'e adadin abu, gane numbobin, sanin duk wani abu da zai had'a da lissafi ko kuma number-based operations.

Abinda na fahimta shine Memory loss d'inki ne ya jawo miki wannan cutar, shi yasa baki da matsala a sauran subjects d'in sai Maths kad'ai, da ace science kike karantawa kina yin Physics, dole ne a shima ki samu irin wannan matsalar.

Kuma zaki iya ganin cewa a asibitin ki basu gaya miki haka ba saboda basu sani bane, Dyscalculia ciwo ne kamar memory loss ba'a iya ganinsa sai dai alamunsa, kuma ke ba wata mu'amalar lissafi dake had'a ki da likitanki don haka ba lallai ne ya fahimta ba."

Fadeelah ta rasa wani irin yanayi take ji a lokacin da kasalalliyar muryarsa ke wannan bayanin, Mamaki? Haushi? ko kuma rashin yarda da abinda ya fad'a?

Kamar ya karanci tunaninta kuwa, sai ya janyo wata hadadd'iyar tablet d'insa ya turo gabanta, a fuskarta shafi ne dogo dake d'auke da tambarin Sunan da ya gama fad'a yanzu.

*Dyscalculia*

Sai ta girgiza kanta game da maido? masa da tablet d'insa.

"Ni ban yarda ba, sai na tuntub'i likitana tukunna."

Ya d'aga kafad'unsa kad'an idonsa baya kallonta.

"Bani da lokacin jiran amsar likitanki leealah, kwanakin da zamu yi abin nan a k'aiyade suke, so ni zan koya miki yadda zaki yarda da hakan."

Kafin ta sake cewa wani abin, ya turo mata wata blank paper da biro akanta.

"Zaki iya rubuta min dukkan abubuwan da kike so a jiki? I mean hobbies d'inki, duk wani abu kike jin dad'i in kina yinsa."

Bata d'auki paper ba, kuma bata bar kallonsa da idanunta da yake jinsu kamar wani gaushi a jikinsa ba.

"Idan baki rubuta ba ina da hanyar da zan sami amsata, kinga wancan karon ma dana tambayeki baki fad'a ba."

"Idan banyi niyyar rubutawa ba, magana ko barazanarka ma basu isa su canja min ra'ayi ba."

"Naji, rubuta."

Ya fad'a hankalinsa a kwance, ta ja tsaki a k'asan numfashinta sanda ta jawo paper ta shiga rubutawa.

Maganar da ya fad'a bayan ya gama karanta abinda ta rubuta ya kwance dukkan wani k'ulli dake zuciyarta.

"Good, zamu fara gobe."

Wannan wane irin yawo da hankali ne?

Tabbas yanzu ta k'ara yarda akwai dalilin da ya shigo da wannan mutumin cikin rayuwarta, dalilin kuma daya kamata ace ta fuskance shi don ta san yadda zata kare kanta in har yana tunanin ruguza mata rayuwa ne.

***

Da yamma gari yayi luf! kamar ana shirin samun saukar ruwa, Mami, Zahra da Iman sun tafi saloon a lokacin, Daddy bai dawo daga aiki ba, daga ita sai Farouk a gidan wanda ke can d'akinsa shi da wasu abokansa suna kallon ball.

Ita kuma tana daga kitchen tana girkin da Mami ta bar mata ta k'arasa, Basmati rice ce da miyar waterleaf wadda tasha nama. Bata dad'e da yin wanka ba don bayan ta dawo daga makaranta ta shafe fiye da awa d'aya tana zaune tana yiwa Mami mitar cewa ita bata tunanin wannan extra lesson d'in da take yi zai amfane ta komai.

Kamar kullum doguwar riga ce a jikinta mai hannu iya gwiwa peach colour, ta nad'e kanta da mayafi kalar light brown, ranta cunkus da haushin da Adam ya bata, da kuma yadda ya d'auki jakarsa ya riga ta fita daga library d'in, a gefe kuma ga ihun abokan Faruk da ya cika gidan sanin da suka yi cewa Mami bata nan.

Tana k'ok'arin rage wutar miyar, falon ya karad'e da sautin k'ararrawar da aka danna daga waje.

Ba tare da tunanin kowa ba, ta isa k'ofar ta bud'e ta, wannan siffar tasa mai tsananin kyau sanye da k'ananan kaya farare ta baiyana a gabanta ba tare da wata katanga ba, sai taji kamar shi d'in fatalwa ne da in ta rufe idonta ta sake bud'ewa zata ga babu shi.

"Zaki iya gaya min me yasa Fadeelah bata amsa sallama?"

Muryarsa mai zurfi ta amsa a cikin kanta. Sai ta d'an matsa baya kad'an alamun ya shigo sannan ta amsa sallamar da tunaninta bai bari taji ba.

"Nayi zaton ko ba kya amsa sallamar wanda baki sanshi bane tunda last time ma baki amsa ba."

Ya fad'a ba tare da ya shigo d'in ba, bata ce komai ba sai ya mik'o mata ledojin hannun sa biyu.

"Rik'e min wannan in d'ebo sauran."

Bayan motarsa dake bud'e ya koma ya d'ebo wasu kusan guda biyar sannan ya rufe motar, tana tsaye a bakin k'ofar har ya shigo ya tsaya dab! da ita sannan ya tura kofar ta baya da k'afarsa.

"Me kuka dafa yau yunwa nake ji Allah."

Kalmar 'Allah' ta fito a had'e da wata madda a mulmule, kafin ta amsa ihun abokan Farouk daga can d'aki ta karad'e falon, da ido yayi mata alamar me ake yi?

"Abokan Farouk ne suke kallon ball."

Ya tab'e baki kad'an, ta matsa daga kusa dashi sannan tace.

"Ina za'a ajiye wannan?"

"Kitchen zamu kai, baki fad'a min me kuka dafa ba?"

Ya fad'a yana yin hanyar kichen d'in, sai tabi bayansa da kallo cike da mamakin yadda yake magana kamar dama can sun saba, tunaninta ya gaya mata shi ba mutum ne mai k'umbiya-k'umbiya ba.

A kitchen d'in ta same shi yana ta fito da kayan cikin ledojin, kallo d'aya tayi musu taga kusan duk wasu 'yan k'ananan abubuwa ne da suke buk'ata a gidan, ya akayi ya san babu su? ko dai Mami ce ta aike shi?

"Mami bata nan?" Ya tambaya yana kallonta, kallon yayi mata nauyi saboda haka ta k'arasa a hankali ta ajiye guda biyun na hannunta a gabansa.

"Sun tafi Saloon dasu Zahra."

"Ke kad'ai ce a gidan?"

Ta d'aga kai.

"Good, kice muna da isashshen lokakacin da zamu sha hira kenan, amma fara zubo min abincin tukunna, na gaya miki yunwa nake ji tun safe na bar gida."

"Zaka ci miyar water leaf?"

"Zan ci ko meye hannunki ya tab'a Fadeelan last year, ke dai zubo min."

Yaja kujerar jikin teburin tsakiya na kitchen d'in ya zauna. Allah ya sani zuciyarta ta san cewa ya iya fad'ar sunanta kuma tana son hakan.

A plate mai fad'i ta zubo masa sannan ta had'o da lemo da ruwa, ya rufe idonsa yana girgiza kai bayan yayi yayi lomar farko.

"Ya salam! abincin nan yayi dad'i da yawa Mrs. chef hannunki mai albarka ne."

Tana zuba sauran abincin a warmers sanda ya fad'i haka, kamar tayi shiru ta karbi yabon, amma haka kawai ta samu bakinta da fad'in cewa ba ita tayi girkin ba Mami ce.

"Ai babu banbanci..." ya d'orar "...tunda kullum kina tare da ita kina ganin yadda take yi. Kuma ni ke na gani ma kin k'arasa."

"Girki daban, K'arasawa daban."

Ya gyad'a kansa.

"Ashe kina magana sosai, yanzu toh ki zubo naki abincin kizo ki bani labarin kanki da yadda akayi ba wanda ya tab'a gaya min kin..."

Ihun ball d'in su Farouk ya sake katse maganarsa.

"A 'yan uwan Mami wane side kike?.." ya cigaba. "... saboda a da ina yawan binsu hutu Nigeria na san wasu daga ciki."

Ta shiga rud'ani kad'an da wannan tambayar, don ta san ko tayi niyyar amsawa da k'arya babu amfani tunda duk daren dad'ewa zai zo ya san wani abu game da ita ne.

"Ni ba 'yar uwar Mami bace." Ta yanke shawarar bada amsar da bai furta kai tsaye ba."

Sai ya fasa kai cokalin da ya d'auko bakinsa, kallon da yake mata ya nuna tsantsar hanqoron jiran abinda zata ce na gaba, amma tayi shiru bata cigaba ba.

Har zaiyi magana ta juyo daga rufe warmers d'in ta kalle shi.

"Ni kaina ban san wacece ni ba, ban san komai a kaina ba, ance watak'ila nayi hatsari ne nayi losing 'Memory' d'ina, wanda hatsarin ma ban san sanda ya faru ba... na manta komai harda suna na, Hajiyan Daddy ta Nigeria ita ta saka min FADEELAH kafin rasuwarta."

Kalamanta suka tsaida duk wani sauran tunani a kwakwalwar Al'ameen saboda tsananin mamaki.

Memory loss ne ya same ta!

Ya maimata hakan a cikin kansa kamar sai ya fad'a tukunna sannan zuciyarsa zata yarda, ba'a karance ya san cutar ba kawai, akwai wani d'an ajinsu da suke shiri sosai a makaranta, mutum ne shi mai surutu da barkwanci, kwatsam! bayan wani hutu da akayi yayi hatsari yayi losing memory d'insa shima, ya manta komai ya manta kowa har iyayensa, haka ya dawo makaranta bai san kowa a cikinsu ba, tun basu yarda ba suna binsa da tsokanar daya saba musu har suka daina don kallo kawai yake binsu dashi.

Gabad'aya halayyarsa ta mutu tare da Memory d'insa, ya koma kamar wani soko da bashi da tunani sai abinda aka sa shi kawai, daga k'arshe dole iyayensa suka hak'ura da karatun nasa aka maida shi gida ya zauna, ya zama rayuwarsa ta dasa aya ne daga nan sai kuma ranar da Allah ya kawo masa waraka.

Saboda haka babban mamakinsa shine na yadda aka yi itama take da matsala irin tasa amma take wannan k'okarin da baya nuna gazawarta a komai cikin sabuwar rayuwar data fara, yaji zuciyarsa ta d'aure tamau da tausayinta, shi yasa ya fahimci Maminsa bata sonta kenan, don ya kwana da sanin cewa ita mace ce mai son 'yanuwanta masu kud'i kawai da kuma k'in duk wanda zai rab'eta in har bashi dashi, balle kuma ita da asali ma bata dashi.

Tunaninsa bai tab'a kawo masa abu makamancin haka akanta ba,?yayi zaton rayuwarta tana tafiya ne kamar ta kowa ba wai a birkice ba, saboda haka yaji kamar ansa muk'ulli ne an bud'e zuciyarsa, tausayinta da tarin wasu abubuwan fal suka cikata kafin a maida muk'ullin a rufe. Ya fahimci ciwonta, ta shiga cikin rud'ani da tashin hankali a 'yar k'aramar rayuwarta, kuma tayi dauriyar da har ba'a ganin gazawarta.

Idanunta basa kallonsa a lokacin, suna kan yatsunta da take ta murza su kamar mai son fito da wani abun. A hankali bakinsa ya furta...

"I'm sorry!"

Sai ta girgiza kanta da sauri.

"You don't need to be, bana son tausayawar mutane da yadda suke nuna ina cikin matsala, shi yasa ba kowa nake gayawa hakan ba, shi yasa kullum nake b'oye ciwo na inyi k'ok'arin rayuwa tare da kowa, tausayawar mutane ita take dakusar dani a koyaushe bayan na riga na saka zuciyata ta yarda cewar zan iya fuskantar komai har lokacin da zan warke. So dan Allah kar ka nuna min tausayinka kaima."

Baiyi magana ba sai taji k'arar motsin kujerarsa, ya k'araso gabanta ya tsaya.. ba yadda ta iya haka ta d'ago da idanunta ta kalli nasa masu tsananin kyau a lokacin da take jiran amsarsa.

"Kin san irin wanda ake tausayi ? sune wad'anda zuciyarsu tayi rauni da yawa ko kuma ta mutu gabad'aya har basa iya tallafar kansu da komai, su ake tausayawa don ganin basu da wani sauran nasara a rayuwa, amma irinki alfahari akeyi dasu Fadeelah, ga duk wanda ya san mai k'arfin hali dana zuciya irinki tink'aho yake ya dinga bada misali a duk inda ya samu kansa.

Saboda haka in har akwai tausayinki a raina, ba wanda zaiyi galaba akanki bane, sai dai tausayin cewa tabbas kinsha wahala a baya, irin tausayin da zai bani k'arfin gwiwar ganin cewar nima na taimaka miki da wata hanyar da zata amfane ki. Zuciyata ta samu interest akanki tun kwanaki uku a baya dana fara ganinki Fadeelah, so kina ganin zaki bani damar da zan fahimce ki mu zama abokai?"

A sabuwar rayuwarta ta san bata tab'a fuskantar bugun zuciya ba, amma tunaninta yana gaya mata cewa babu banbanci tsakanin bugun zuciyar da abinda take ji yanzu saboda tsananin rud'anin da kalamansa suka sa mata, a iya saninta kaf! bayan 'yan gidansu da kuma likitanta babu wanda ya tab'a yi