wanda Adam ke gaya mata cewar ba zai iya rabuwa da ita ba don zuciyarsa na k'aunarta, tsaf zata oya yarda cewa mafarkin tayi saboda hakan abu ne da tab'a tunanin kwatankwacinsa ba balle har ya fito a zahiri ya zama gaskiya, a baya ta d'auka cewa Adam mutum ne da bai damu da komai ba face harkar aikinsa kawai, sai ko Kawu Ibrahim da yake wa kallon uba. Don haka ta d'auka ita a wajensa ba komai bace sab'anin d'aya daga cikin tarin matan daya tab'a sani a America kuma sabuwar 'yar uwarsa daya taimakawa saboda Kawu Ibrahim kawai.

Ashe ba haka bane, ashe ta dad'e da shiga cikin zuciyarsa, ashe ta dad'e da zama abu mai muhimmanci a wajensa, ashe shima yana son cigaba da zama da ita shi yasa ya canja akalar zamansu, ashe yana sonta... Yana sonta!

To amma ita kuma fa? Yaya sunan abinda take ji game dashi... Shin tuntuninsa a baya daya kasa barin zuciyarta a baya so ne? Ko matsayinsa daya k'aru a zuciyarta bayan ya taimake ta shima so ne? Ko kuma yanzu da take son cigaba da zama dashi hakan na nufin tana son sa ne?

A baya Fatima ta tabbatar mata cewa tana son Al'ameen ne saboda tunaninsa da zuciyarta ke yi, amma kuma in har wancan shine so, to baza ta tab'a had'a shi da abinda take ji game da Adam ba tuntuni kuwa, don in har tunani shine so, to tayi tunanin Adam fiye da sau d'ari kafin na Al'ameen, don shi sai tana ganinsa tukunna sannan kyawunsa da kyautatawarsa ke narka zuciyarta ta kasa mantawa dashi amma Adam.... Har tsawon bayan shekara guda rabuwarta dashi tunaninsa bai tab'a barin ranta ba duk da cewa kuwa bata k'ara ganinsa ba.

Amma duk da haka a jiya taji tana neman k'arin bayanin wani wanda zai taimaka ya faiyace mata ma'anar abinda take ji don haka ba shiri ta lalubo waya ta kira malamarta.

"Fatee yaya ma kika ce ana ganewa idan mutum yana son wani?" Ta tambaya bayan bugu d'aya kawai da? Fatiman ta d'auki wayar? kasancewarta ba mai saurin bacci ba.

"La'ilaha ilallahu! tsaya mana, Deelah wa kike so da aurenki?" Muryarta ta fito da sauri.

"Babu kowa, kawai ki gaya min."

"Fadeelah kwantar da hankalinki dan Allah? ki fad'a min komai a nutse yadda zan fahimta, kuma kiyi k'asa da muryarki don wannan al'amarin babba ne, amma zamu san yadda zamu yi maganin ko wane irin d'*n iska ne wannan kafin ma aje da nisa, ki gaya min waye shi? A ina kuka had'u? Bai san kina da aure bane yasa kika fara son sa?"

Da mamakin me Fatin ta d'auke ta tace.

"Fatee ba wani fa nake so ba, Adam ne."

Sai ta d'anyi shiru kafin tace.

"Adam kike so? Ban gane ba? Shine kuma kike fad'a min?"

Sai da Fatiman ta fad'i haka ne sannan ta fahimci abinda ta fad'a, sannan ta fahimci amsar da take nema, zuciyarta ta riga ta dad'e da son Adam, kawai rashin samun isashshiyar dama da kuma tarin abubuwan dake kanta a baya ne suka danne hakan, amma a yanzu da komai ya kauce rayuwarta ya zama daga shi sai ita, ba abinda ya isa ya kore hakan.

Ta bud'e idanunta a hankali tana kallon kalar kayan dake hannunta, fari da ja... Jan mai haskawa kamar an watsa masa jini. Tun a jiya ta yanke shawarar cewa itama zata fad'awa Adam gaskiyar zuciyarta, idan har zai iya ajiye duk wani matsayinsa ya gaya mata wad'annan kalaman, me zai hana ita kuma ta kasa? dole ta cire dukkan wata kunya ta fad'a masa cewa tana sonsa fiye da yadda yake tunani. A rayuwarta ta fuskanci nau'i kala-kala na ma'anar k'unci don haka bata jin a yanzu kuma tana da karfin da zata iya fuskantar wani.

Maganganun Kawu Ibrahim suka haska cikin kanta.

"Wannan auren dana yi miki Bintu, riba biyu zai zame miki a rayuwa, ina ganin abinda daga ke har shi ba kwa hangowa a yanzu sai kun zauna da juna tukunna, Allah ne shaidata ina k'okarin gyara rayuwarki ne kan tafarki mai inganci, don haka a wannan lokacin babu abinda ya dace dake sai auren, don duk dad'in rayuwar da zaki samu a gaba ba zai rufe miki wani bak'in cikin ba, amma in har kina zaune ne a k'ak'ashin inuwar aure, wannan rahamar kad'ai zata yaye miki abubuwa da dama..."

Sai yanzu take fahimtar ma'anar kowacce kalma daya fad'a, sai yanzu ta hango irin rahamar da yake fad'a, to don me yasa kuwa zata kasa ajiye komai tak'i karbar wannan rahamar?

Matsalar shine zuciyarta tace zata iya, amma bata san ta yaya bakinta zai iya bud'ewa ya fad'a masa cewa itama tana son sa ba... Don gashi tun ba'aje koina ba kayan da zata saka ma sun mata wuyar zab'a.

***

BAYAN NA MUTU!

?AYSHA SHAFI'EE

BABI NA K'ARSHE!

(&_&)

"Barka da safiya."

Muryarta ta kutsa cikin tunaninsa, d'auke da d'umin da yafi na coffee d'in da yake sha a lokacin, yana zaune ne a falo cikin lallausan carpet d'in dake tsakiya mai kalar ruwan toka yana danne-danne a computersa, ya d'ago ya kalle ta, kallon da a lokaci guda yaji zuciyarsa ta tsaya cak na wasu 'yan sakanni kafin kuma ta cigaba da bugawa da k'arfin da yayi barazanar girgiza kofin hannunsa.

Tana sanye ne cikin wata doguwar riga ta material fara k'al, amma kuma an watsa mata adon wasu jajayen fulawowi masu haske akanta! haske sosai kamar an sirka su ne da kalar jini, daga inda yake zaune kuma yana iya jiyo k'amshin nan nata dake tsima zuciyarsa.

A baiyane yake cikin idanunta cewa taci baccinta ta gode Allah, alhalin shi sam bai samu baccin ba sai wajen hud'u na dare don har yaso ya makara sallar Asuba, kuma da ace zai je wajen aiki ma da ya dad'e da makara, a yanzu haka k'okarin turawa Nasir dake jiransa ayyukan da zasu yi yau yake, ya yanke shawarar ba zai fita yau bane, don ko yaje office d'in ba lallai ne ya tab'uka wani abun azo a gani ba, hankalinsa ba zai kwanta ba sai in har yaji amsar da Fadeelah zata bashi, amsar da zata baiyana masa matsayinsa a wajenta.

Ya san ya gaya mata ne cewa tana da damar da zata yi tunani daga yanzu zuwa tsawon lokaci, amma ba zai iya ba, a yadda yake jin kansa yanzu ba zai iya jiran hakan, don a daren jiya zuciyarsa ta sake jaddada masa cewa ba zai iya cigaba da zama da ita a irin tsarin da suka d'auko ba, in ba haka ba zai aikata abinda daga ita har shi zasu zo suna nadamarsa ne, don in zuciyarsa ta fad'i abu to da gaske take hakan ne.

Maimakon ya amsa gaisuwar tata, sai ya mik'o mata hannunsa alamun ta k'araso, yana ganin yadda ta kalli hannun kamar mai shawara da zuciyarta kafin ta mik'o masa natan, kuma a take ya nutse cikin taushinsu yayin da wani abu kamar zugi ya shiga bin jijiyoyinsa.

Ya matso da ita gabansa, ta durk'ushe cikin carpet d'in idanunta a k'asa, a cikin abu guda biyu bai san wanne yafi burge shi ba, kawalliyarta ko kuma ladabinta. Ba tare da ya saki hannun?nata ba yace.

"Kin tashi lafiya?"

"Alhamdlilah."

Sai ya d'auko plate d'in sandwich d'in da yake ci, ya saka a tsakiyarsu, rabi akan k'afarta rabi a tasa.

"Bismillah, mu ci."

Ta girgiza kanta a hankali sannan tace.

"A'a, Thank you." Ya gyad'a kansa sannan shima yace.

"Thank you too for wearing this dress."

Maganar tasa ta d'ago da idonta ta kalle shi, ya d'aga mata duk girarsa biyu yace.

"Nayi zaton 'yar godiya muke yi ne."

Sai tayi d'an guntun murmushi tana kallon gefe. Yace.

"Me yasa baza ki ci ba?"

"Bana iya cin abinci da sassafe."

Ya sake gyad'a kansa.

"Okay, ni kam tun d'azu nake ci ina jiran fitowarki kuma."

Ya lura tayi tunanin wani abu daban kafin ya d'ebe hakan da cewa.

"So nake ki fad'a min meye wannan abin don na san dai Sandwich ba haka yake da dad'i ba."

Baiyi mamaki ba sanda ta juyo da idonta ta sake kallonsa, don sun dad'e da saba irin wannan hirar, sabon abu shine yadda take zaune kusa dashi da kuma hannunta dake cikin nasa. Tace.

"Kuma sunanshi kenan, don ance ba'a canjawa tuwo suna."

Ya k'ara kaishi bakinsa sannan yace.

"Na fahimta, amma kuma meye tuwon?"

Ta d'anyi shiru alamun mamaki kafin tace.

"Oh! na manta fa kai ba bahaushe bane, amma dai duk da haka zaka san tuwon ai, tunda kana zuwa Ikara."

Ya d'age gira d'aya cike da jin dad'in sakewarta.

"Waye yace ni ba bahaushe bane, bayan jininsu na yawo a jikina?"

"Jini daban, amma a magana dai ba wanda zai kira ka bahaushe balle kuma al'ada."

Sanyin muryarta ya shiga aika masa da sak'onni kala-kala cikin kansa, bai sanda ya ajiye kofin hannunsa ba tare da ture batun Nasir dake jiransa, ya k'ara gyara zamansa a gabanta yace.

"Kin san kuwa nine top kuwa a class d'inmu?"

Girarta biyu ta had'e.

"Wane class d'in?"

"B????































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~

?
ayan dawowata Nigeria nayi joining wani online class da ake koya hausa ne a cikin 'yan watanni kawai, kuma nine mai highest grade a class d'in"

"Kuma an koya muku komai?"

"Komai." Ya tabbatar mata.

"To shi kanshi mai koyarwar yana buk'atar guidence gaskiya, don ina jin a al'adar bahaushe tuwo yana zuwa ne a saman abubuwa da yawa."

"Na fa san tuwo leelah, kawai dai ban gane a sentence d'in da kika saka shi bane."

Ta cije gefen lebb'enta na k'asa tana kallonsa.

"Kenan ba'a koya muku komai ba tunda baku san karin magana ba."

"Na san karin magana mana, akwai littafi guda ma dana tab'a karantawa akansa."

"Zaka iya tuna d'aya?"

Ya sake gyad'a kansa.

"Inaga kamar akwai wani da ake cewa kulin kuli fita..."

Sautin dariyarta ne ya katse shi daga k'arasawa, dariyarta mai dad'in gaske da kunnensa ya saba da jinta a kwanakin nan, amma kuma zuciyarsa ta kasa karb'ar sabon, don duk sanda taji ta sai ta fitar da wani rad'ad'i dake watsuwa a k'irjinsa.

"Me ya baki dariya?"

Yana ganin yadda tayi saurin tsaida kanta ta hanyar cije lebb'enta na k'asa sannan ta girgiza kai alamun babu komai. A lokacin ne ya rasa dukkan wata dauriyarsa ya mik'a hannunsa ya rik'o d'aya natan sannan muryarsa k'asa-k'asa yace.

"Zan iya samun amsata a cikin dariyar nan?"

Murmushin fuskarta bai tafi gabad'aya ba amma kuma bata ce komai ba, me hakan yake nufi? Nasara ko akasinta? tunaninsa ya dagule zuwa wajaje daban-daban, ya rasa wanne zai tsamo ya d'auko bashi mazaunin a lokacin, sai ya k'ara sauke muryarsa can k'asa sosai kamar mai rad'a ya kira sunanta.

"Fadeelah, jiya bayan na barki ban iya barci ba ko kad'an, tunani kala-kala zuciyata ta dinga yi akan irin amsar da zan samu a wajenki, ban sani ba ko kin shirya fad'a min ita a yanzu amma ina son ki sani cewa duk abinda zaki yanke kar kiyi la'akari da rayuwarki ta baya ko kuma irin k'addarar data had'a mu, wannan duk abu ne daya riga ya wuce kuma bamu da iko akansa.

Amma a cikin zukatanmu zamu iya canja komai, Allah ya bamu damar da a yanzu zamu iya sake labarinmu ya tafi daidai da irin rayuwar da zamu shimfida a gaba, we have a whole new chance to rewrite all those sad and angry memories of our lives and create a better us that will shine the future."

Ya san ya tab'o wani abu mai girma a rayuwarta da wannan maganar, ya tab'o wani babban b'angare dake rufta zuciyarta a kullum, don a lokaci guda yanayin fuskarta ya canja zuwa na wata Fadeelan daban ba wadda ta fito da annashuwa ba. Kuma yana sane yayi hakan, don a jiya babu irin tunanin da bai yi ba na irin abubuwan da zasu sa Fadeelah ta kasa amincewa dashi, kuma a cikinsu zuciyarsa ta yarda cewa wannan dalilin yafi dukkanin sauran k'arfi, babban rauninta shine rayuwarta ta baya da take wa kallon hargitsi wanda in har zuciyarta na rik'e da hakan ba zata tab'a barinta ta cigaba ba, abubuwa zasu cigaba da rugujewa ne a duk lokacin data tuno hakan, shi yasa ya kudiri niyyar rage tasirin wannan tunanin nata don ya san ba zai tab'a iya goge shi baki d'aya ba.

Ta girgiza kanta tana k'okarin zame hannayenta amma ya sake rik'e su gam, cikin sigar rik'on da yake son ta fahimci cewa daga yanzu yana tare da ita a kowanne irin yanayi.

"Bana tunanin akwai wata rayuwa da zanyi a gaba da zata goge dukkan tabon dake rayuwata, bana jin akwai wani abu da zai mutane su manta matsayin da suka san ni dashi a baya, tabo wani abu ne da baya tab'a barin d'an Adam, don haka ko mutuwa nayi na tabbata duk wanda ya sani zai tuno ni da wad'annan tarin tabon dana riga na samu, don duk da 'yancin dana samu a yanzu bana jin zan tab'a zama wani abu mai daraja a idon duniya."

Tsawon wucewar wasu sakanni, Adam bai ko kifta idanunsa balle yayi wani motsi, zuciyarsa tana b'antarewa ne jin cewa da gaske hasashensa game da ita gaskiya ne, har a yanzu tana ganin kanta a matsayin mara daraja saboda mutane kawai.

Zuciyarsa ta matse da irin zurfin da yaji a muryarta, ya had'iye yawu a hankali sanda wani abu ya mai girma ya cika k'irjinsa.

A hankali ya mik'a hannunsa d'aya ya shafi gefen fuskarta, ta rufe idanunta amma bata motsa ba, tana k'ame a wajen kamar abunda baya numfashi, zai iya k'irga sautin bugun zuciyarta.

"Kin san wani abu lealah? We all have scars and they are an important part of our lives, sune abinda ke nuna rauni da gazawarmu a matsayin 'yan adam, I have alot of my own too, amma hakan baya nufin zan kyale su su? durk'usar dani a cigaban rayuwata. Misali, a lokacin dana gama high school na gano cewa iyayen da nake tare dasu basu ne asalin mahaifana ba, abun yayi min ciwo sosai, zuciyata ta shiga zullumi da damuwa tsawon lokaci, har sai da mates d'ina suka yi joining? college ina zaune a gida babu abinda nake yi.

A lokaci d'aya kuma sai tunanina yayi hankali, ya bani shawarar cewa rayuwa ba zata tsaya ba don kawai an samu tangard'ar wani abun, living with the past will only make me more vulnerable and frail, zan k'are rayuwata ne ba tare dana samu komai ba, saboda haka rana d'aya kawai na tashi na sami wani littafi da biro na rubuta sabon labari akaina, na tsara komai ya tafi daidai da mafarkina har zuwa matsayin da nake a wancan lokacin, sannan na fara kokarin cigabawa daga nan, ya zama duk sanda wani abu na kewaye na ke kokarin tuna min da zahiri sai in d'auko labarin nan in karanta in kuma cigaba da inda na tsaya."

A wannan lokacin ta bud'e idanunta ta kalle shi, akwaibkyallin hawaye a idanunta amma sai tayi dariya... Rana ta farko kenan da tayi dariya tana kallonsa, kyallin hakan kuma ya haska har cikin zuciyarsa yasa shi murmushin da bai shirya ba don abin yaso ya bashi mamaki, waye yake kuka yana dariya a lokaci d'aya?

"Ta yaya mutum yake canja labarinsa kuma ya yarda da hakan?"

"Very simple..." Ya fad'a yana cigaba da tracing gefen fuskarta cike da jin dad'in yadda bata hana shi ba yace.

"Zaki bud'e zuciyarki ne ki fito da dukkan mafarkinki na duniya, sanann ki yarda da kanki, ki bawa kanki yak'inin da ko shaid'an bai isa ya ture hakan ba balle kwakwalwarki."

Fuskarta ta juya kowanne b'angare cikin hannunsa kafin tace.

"Bana jin zan iya, don ko ina da mafarki ni ba sanshi ba."

"Kowa yana da mafarki a duniyar nan leelah, baza ki tab'a rasawa ba don ko ni na san naki da yawa, in kina so zan iya canja labarin mu a yanzu nan."

Ta d'auko da idonta ta sake kallonsa, sai ya kautar da nasa kad'an don idan ya cigaba da kallonta zai iya manta zancen wani labari ya jata cikin jikinsa.

"Ta yaya? Ta yaya zaka iya canja komai?"

A hankali ya sunkuyar da kansa sannan ya sake rik'o hannayenta, idonsa ya kai kan combination d'in fari da baki'n lallen da bai gama barin farcenta, ba zuciyarsa ta matse da tunanin cewa don shi akayi lallen. Yayi gyaran murya kad'an sannan ya sake yin k'asa da muryarsa cikin amon daya san zai ratsa zuciyarta yace.

"Let's say, shekaru goma da suka wuce baya, kina Ikara, tare da mahaifanki da kuma yayarki Maryam data gama makaranta, komai yana tafiya daidai a rayuwarku saboda kuna kusa da babban gida inda kowa ke mutuk'ar sonku dalilin kyawawan halayen mamanku...."

Fadeelah bata san lokacin data rufe idanunta ba jin hakan, lallai wannan shine mafarki, mai d'auke ka zuwa wata duniyar da babu kishiyar komai, a hankali taji wata kwalla mai d'umi na shirin taruwa a idanunta,

"... a cikin haka ne mahaifinku ya had'a Maryam aure da d'an wani amininsa, kowa yayi farin cikin hakan don Sadiq yana da hankali sosai da kuma nutsuwa. Bayan bikinsu rayuwa ta cigaba da gangara muku a hankali cikin tarin nasarori, ki gama makaranta kuma kowa ya yarda da ra'ayinki na cigaba da karatu, watakila Kawu Ibrahim ko wani daga cikin yayyenki ya samo miki makaranta kika fara zuwa daga nan gida kina dawowa, komai yana tafiya daidai a rayuwarki..."

Ya d'anyi shiru kafin ya cigaba.

"A wannan lokacin ni kuma na dawo daga America a matsayin d'aya daga cikin jikokin babban gida daya samu schoolarship na karantar aikin lauya, kowa yayi murna da kammala karatuna, kuma mahaifina ya tura ni gidajen 'yan uwa in gaishe su don na dad'e bana k'asar..."

A daidai nan kwallar da Fadeelah ke kokarin rikewa ta gangaro kan kumatunta, ta gyad'a kanta a hankali don ta hango inda labari ke dosa.

"... Watakila Sai'd yayi min jagora muka shiga bin gidajen 'yan uwa, gida na k'arshe da muka je shine gidanku, muna falo a zaune ana gaisawa kika dawo daga makaranta, ban san me ya faru ba amma a wannan lokacin kowa na wajen ya b'ace a idanuna sai ke kad'ai kawai nake iya gani kina tahowa saitina, sanye cikin doguwar rigarki mai kyau sannan da glasses na karatu a idanunki, kika k'araso kika gaishe damu amma bayan muryarki bana iya jin motsin kowa na d'akin, kika karb'i babyn yayarki daga hannun mamanki kina tayi mata wasa da dariya kina kallonta...."

Muryarsa ta d'anyi rawa kafin ya cigaba.

"... Amma ni babu abinda nake