daga cikin jerin dad'in duniya, ace mijinka ya fita waje

"Ban san me kake tunanin ci ba, amma dai?na dafa abinda nayi tunanin zaka so."

"Duk abinda kika dafa shi nafi so Fadeelah, ina son duk abinda hannunki ya tab'a."

Sanda ya fad'i haka ya lura wani abu ya gifta cikin idonta kuma a take murmushin fuskarta ya d'auke, me ya faru? Ko dai ya fad'i wani abu ba daidai bane? Ganin da gaske damuwa na k'okarin sauka a fuskarta, sai ya d'ebe zancen da cewa.

"Naga abincin amma zuwa nayi in tambaya ko za'a zo a taimaka a zuba min, don naji ance abinci yafi dad'i in wanda ya dafa ne ya zuba maka."

Sai tayi kokarin sake wani murmushin, hak'oranta masu kyau suka haska kafin ta gyad'a kai ta biyo bayansa zuwa dining d'in, yaja kujera d'aya ya zauna sannan ya ajiye wayarsa akan table d'in yayin da ta k'araso ta shiga bud'e kwanukan don zuba masa. K'amshin fatan dankalin turawa na flask d'in farko yasa cikinsa ya d'aure, yunwar dake tare dashi tun safe ta taso.

"Dan Allah ki gaya min makarantar girki kala nawa kika yi?"

Ya tambaya muryarsa k'asa-k'asa lokacin data fara zuba masa kalolin abincin, ta kalle shi da gefen idonta, wani kallo da yaji yana shirin mantar dashi komai ya har kuwa da yunwar dake damunsa.

"Ni banyi catering school ba ko daya, a wajen Mami kawai nake koya."

"Koya? A hakan? ai na tabbata kinfi wasu malaman da yawa iyawa, don haka watakila nan gaba zamu bud'e tamu makarantar mu ma."

Nan take yaga wannan damuwar ta sake baiyana akan fuskarta, ko dai yana fad'an wani abu ne da ba daidai ba? ko kuma tunani take babu 'Nan gaban' daya ambata ne a rayuwarsu?

Ta gama zuba masa abincin tare da lemon abarba mai rangwamen sanyi a cikin kofi sannan tayi niyyar komawa ta cigaba da aikinta amma ya tsaida ita.

"Ki zauna ki taya ni ci mana."

Ta girgiza kanta." Naci nawa tun d'azu."

Shima ya girgiza nasa kan.

"Wannan ba tsari bane gaskiya, daga yanzu ko zaki ci abinci ki dinga ci kad'an yadda idan na dawo zamu ci tare, inaga kamar hakan zai fi ko?"

Hukunci ya yanke, kuma ya tambayi shawararta duk a lokaci d'aya, sai kawai ta gyad'a kanta sannan taja kujerar ta zauna, ta d'auki plate d'aya ta zubawa kanta jollof d'in wata macaroni mai siffar shinkafa 'yar kad'an sannan ta tsiyaya lemo, amma ba k'amshin abincin take ji ba, k'amshin turarensa kawai hancinta ke d'auko mata wanda ya had'u ya cakud'e dana sabulun da yayi wanka.

"Ba zaki ci naman ba?"

Ya tambaya yana miko mata flask d'in da ta zuba mm asa farfesun kifi, sai ta girgiza kanta.

"Idan naci abincin da yawa zai cika min ciki."? Ta fad'a a hankali, ya lura har a lokacin yanayinta bai dawo daidai ba saboda haka yayi tunanin bin wata hanyar daban.

"Kin san lokacin da ina America akwai wani a office d'in mu sunanshi James, yana da k'iba sosai da k'aton timbi kuma mutane suna yawan tsokanarshi akan hakan, kawai watarana sai yazo ya sanar cewa yayi joining wani gym na six months zai rage k'iba don haka ya koma vegetarian ya daina cin duk wani kalar nama."

Ta d'ago tana kallonsa da wani guntun murmushi a a gefen lebbenta, don duk sanda yake magana tana mamakin hirarsa, a fuska irin mutanen nan ne da zaka yanke musu hukuncin miskilanci cikin rashin sani,?don sai kana kusa dasu zaka yi mamakin yadda zasu dinga zaro magana soi-soi kamar ba daga bakinsu take fitowa ba. Yana kokarin cin naman ya cigaba da cewa.

"Ba'a dad'e ba sai ranar Thanksgiving tazo, aka had'a babban party kuma aka yanka talo-talo masu yawa, kowa ya san James baya cin nama don haka ba'ayi serving d'insa ba, ashe shi kuma yana ta kwad'ayin naman ba wanda ya gane, sai can da aka kusa tashi Mark ya zagaya zai shiga band'aki unexpectedly yana bud'e k'ofar na farko kawai ya ganshi zaune kan toilet d'in ya d'ebo sauran nama da k'ashin da aka ci yana ta?kokawar ci..."

Fadeelah ta tuntsire da dariya tana rufe fuskarta, don a yadda yake bada labarin haka shima yake kokawa da nasa naman, ita bata hango wani James ba shi kawai take gani. Adam ya kalle ta sannan ya kalli hannunsa dake rik'e da fork yana kokarin gutsirar nasa naman, ya lura da abinda ta fahimta don haka cikin turanci yayi sauri yace.

"Da gaske nake miki fa, haka Mark ya kama James d'in ba wai santi nake yi ba."

Ina, Fadeelah kawai dariyarta take yi, da ya sake kallon hannun nasa bai san lokacin da shima ya fara dariya ba, don a baiyane yake cewa santin yake yi kuma babu da abinda zai iya kare kansa dashi. Ya sake kallonta, yana sauraren yadda sautin dariyar tata ke fita a hankali kamar ta 'yar yarinya, me yasa ne take rufe fuskarta? Yana son yaga yadda idanunta zasu haska da kyallin dariyar.

"Kin manta kuma baki tambaye ni zancen matar ba?"

Sakewarta yasa ya tuno mata da labarin daya bata jiya, akan case d'in wani mutumi ya kawo musu k'arar matarsa, cewa tayi yunk'urin sace takardun filayensa, shi kuma ya lura da hakan kafin ta d'auka saboda haka ya canja takardun dana bogi ba tare da ta sani ba don a yanzu haka ita har ta nemi dillali an saka filayen a kasuwa, shine yazo ya kawo case d'in maaikatarsu a matsayin wani ne ya gane don a tsorata ta kawai.

Ta d'ago ta kalle shi da zumud'i a fuskarta tace.

"Tazo? Me ya faru?"

Ya k'arasa tauna abincin bakinsa sannan yace.

"Abinda mijinta ya fad'a ne ya faru, ta tsorata sosai don mun ce mata ne za'a kai case d'in kotu, tayi ta rok'o tana rantsuwar cewa ba zata sake ba zata mayar masa da takardunsa."

Yana kallon yadda kafad'unta suka yi k'asa a hankali kafin tace.

"Sai naji mijin nata bai kyauta ba kuma."

"Saboda me?" Ya tambaya "Sata fa tayi niyyar yi masa."

"Na sani, amma ina ganin bata haka ya kamata ya hukunta ta ba, tunda ya san tana da tsoro sosai bai kamata ya kawo ta har wajen hukuma ba."

Ya d'auki kofin lemonsa ya kurb'a a hankali yana kallonta.

"So what's your own view?" (yaya kike ganin ya dace ayi?)

Ta d'an cije lebb'enta kad'an.

"Kamata yayi ya zauna su magance matsalar iya su kawai, a tunani na matarsa sirrinsa ce bai kamata ya tozarta ta a wajen wasu ba in har yana sonta, laifi tayi masa amma tunda har ya gane, sai ya zaunar da ita ya nuna mata kuskurenta sai in bata ji bane sannan ya d'auki wani matakin daban amma shima ba wanda zai had'a da hukuma ba.

Watak'ila ma yana da hali ne amma baya d'aukan d'awainiyarta, ko kuma tun farko basu sami fahimtar juna ba bai san komai nata ba balle har ya san matsalolinta."

Adam bai san me fuskarsa take nunawa ba a wannan lokacin, ya san dai kawai idan wani zai hango shi daga nesa zai ce yana zaune ne rik'e da kofi a hannunsa yana kallonta da idanunsa dake cike da d'imbin abubuwan da ba zai iya furtawa ba.

Amma a cikin kansa tunani yake lallai tana da zurfin tunani, ,and he likes smart women._ sannan kuma in har ta san wannan to watakila ba lallai ne ya samu matsala wajen gaya mata abinda ke zuciyarsa ba, waya sani ma idan yayi sa'a ta fahimce shi, amma kuma mai tace? Cewa tayi? 'in har yana sonta.." Ya manta ne cewa shi bata son sa?

Wajen k'arfe tara na dare bayan ya dawo daga masallacin isha'i, ya same ta tsaye akan d'aya daga kujerar dining tana kokarin d'auko wani abu a shelf d'in dake sama, sai d'age take yi don hannunta ya kasa kaiwa.

"Me kike yi?" Ya tambaya yana jingina da bangon gefe, hannayensa sunk'e cikin aljihu.

"Wad'annan containers d'in nake son in d'auko in ga ko zan iya zuba abu a ciki."

Sai ya gyad'a kansa a hankali ya cigaba da kallonta, tana ta kokarin mik'a hannu amma ko kusa baya yi, in ta mik'a da yawa kuma sai kujerar tayi kamar zata tuntsira.

Abin yaso ya bashi dariya, sai dai ganin da gaske ta kasa yasa ya matso ya hawo kujerar don ya taya ta, sai dai me? A lokaci guda wannan k'amshin nata ya buso shi don ya tsaya ne kusa da ita sosai saboda yanayin kujerar, zuciyarsa ta matse a daidai lokacin da ta shiga k'ok'arin sauka k'asa amma sai kujerar ta tafi kamar zata hantsila dasu don haka bai san sanda ya saka hannunsa na hagu ya rik'o k'ugunta ba.

"Steady."

Kalmar ta fice daga bakinsa a daidai saitin kunnenta, a hankali muryarsa ta fito saboda nutsuwarsa data fara neman rikicewa, watakila kuma hakan ya saka ta jin wani abu don bata sake wani motsin ba tsawon wucewar 'yan sakanni, sai ya lumshe idanunsa a lokacin da k'amshin nata ke k'ara shiga kusufa-kusufa na kwakwalwarsa kafin ya fahimci cewa jikinta b'ari yake a cikin hannunsa don haka yayi saurin saita kansa ya mik'a hannunsa don d'auko container, sai dai hakan ya dad'a sawa ta k'ara shigowa jikinsa, fuskarsa ta fito ta cikin ramin wuyanta.

Ya had'iye yawu da kyar kafin janyo container a hankali sannan ba tare da ya sake ta ba ya sauko dasu daga kan kujerar, hakan ya cillo dashi duniyar zahiri don k'afafunsu na dira kan lallausan carpet d'in wajen tayi saurin karb'ar robar sannan fit! ta zare kanta daga jikinsa saboda bai rik'e tare da wani k'arfi ba.

"Nagode, bari inje in saka." Sautin ta a hankali ya fito itama, kuma kafin ya nazarci wani abun, ta b'ace zuwa hanyar kitchen.

Sai ya lalubi d'aya daga cikin kujerun ya zauna. Abubuwa da yawa na yawa a cikin kansa... Million of feelings, thousands shades of emotions da kuma dubunnan tunanika duk akan Fadeelah ita kad'ai! Bai san sanda ya dunk'ule hannunsa ya daki glass d'in teburin gabansa ba.

How can he continue to spend everyday of his fucking life like this?

Dole ne komai yazo k'arshe don dauriyarsa ta k'are, dole ya gayawa Fadeelah gaskiyar da yake ta yawo da ita a zuciyarsa, don ba ya jin zai iya tsallake wannan daren rik'e da wannan nauyin a zuciyarsa, tunaninsa ya natsu cewa ranar yau ta zama sanadin yadda k'arashen rayuwarsa zai kasance, don ba zai k'ara asarar ko kwana guda da damarsa ba, zai fad'a mata komai a yau ko da kuwa hakan na nufin duniyarsa zata ruguje ne.

***

"Can you spare me a minute?" (Zaki d'an bani aron lokacinki?)

Fadeelah ta tsinci muryarsa daga bayanta lokaci da take tsaye a kitchen, wannan container na gabanta amma ta kasa zuba abinda ta d'auko a ciki.

Ya salam! Wai so yaje ya kashe ta da ranta ne? Bai san cewa jinyar zuciyarta taho yin ba?... Ta yaya zata iya sauraren sa alhalin har yanzu tana jin wani mai d'umi yana tafiya cikin k'afafunta? Ta yaya zata iya karb'ar wannan muryar tasa dake sawa ta zama kamar k'ank'arar dake narkewa?

Sai ya k'araso ya tsaya gabanta, ya d'an kalleta kad'an sannan ya sauk'e muryarsa k'asa sosai yace.

"Zamu iya yin maganar?"

Tana da zab'i ne? Ya san ai ba zata iya ce masa A'a ba, don haka ta gyad'a kanta kawai ba tare da ta kalle shi ba, kuma ba tayi wani aune ba taji ya mik'o hannunsa ya kamo nata yatsunsa suka sark'e cikin nata... A take kuwa zuciyarta ta shiga dungurawa cikin wani rami mai nisa sanban numfashinta ya nemi yakewa, watak'ila a yau Adam yana son ganin k'arshenta ne.

A hankali ya jata daga nan wajen zuwa kujerun island d'in dake tsakiyar kitchen d'in, ya zaunar da ita a d'aya sannan ya matso da wata ya zauna dab da ita sosai yadda gwiwoyinsu na gogar juna. Bata kalle shi ba amma zuciyarta ta tabbatar mata cewa duk abinda zai fad'a mata lallai mai muhimmanci ne don watakila bata tab'a ganinsa a irin wannan yanayin ba, ko dai shima ya yana jin abinda take ji ne?

"Fadeelah magana nake son muyi mai muhimmanci, dan Allah ki saurare ni..."

A hankali muryarsa ta fito kamar yana daurewa ne kar duka kalamansa su fito a lokaci d'aya. Ta sake had'iye yawu tana kallonsa... Watakila sallamarta zai yi, k'ila wannan lokacin da yake jira ya k'araso ne kuma baya son wani abu ya canja ra'ayinsa don haka zai d'auki mataki tun kafin a kai ga makara, taji wani bak'in abu na shirin cunkushe zuciyarta amma wa zata yaudara? Ta riga ta san dama dole ne lokaci zai zo da zai tashe ta daga shirmen mafarkin da take yi, don haka a cire kanta a lissafi... me su kawu Ibrahim zasu d'auke su in har suka rabu yanzu? Sannan yaya su Mami zasu ji ace har ta koma musu cikin abinda baifi wata guda ba? Anya bai yi garajen lokaci ba kuwa? Sai kawai ta lumshe idonta tana laluben tata dauriyar itama don in har ya riga ya furta abinda ya tanada, to babu sauran wani hasashe kuma.

"Fadeelah me kike tunani game da yanayin zamanmu?"

Bata son lokacin data bud'e idonta ta kalle shi ba, dama zai nemi ra'ayinta bayan ya riga ya yanke shawararsa? To me zata ce masa yanzu, dan Allah kar ya kore ta tana son zama dashi ko me?

"Kina ganin idan har muka yi amfani da wannan alkawarin na baya?abubuwa baza su lalalce ba?

Wai tambayarta yake yi? To ai ita kuwa ta san abubuwa zasu lalace tunda ita zai bari a ciki, kafin kuma tayi tunanin ya bata damar magana ne ya cigaba da cewa.

"... a lokacin da muka yi wannan zancen da farko nayi la'akari ne da cewar an takura ki kuma abubuwa sun had'e miki a lokaci guda, amma wallahi ban fad'a da wata niyyar ba..."

Muryarsa ta ambaci rantsuwar 'Wallahi' da wani accent mai dad'i da bai yi kama da hausa ba, amma tsaya ba wannan ba, me yake cewa ne? Bashi da niyyar sallamarta?

Ya cigaba da cewa.

"Ba zan iya cigaba da b'oye miki komai ba shi yasa nake gaya miki haka, don bana jin zuciyata na da kwarin da zata iya cigaba da zaman mu a haka."

Bata san lokacin da ta kalle shi ba a wannan lokacin, kamar tana son ta lalubo wancan Adam d'in data sani a baya, jajirtaccen lauyan dake tsorata alkali a kotu, mai karfin gwiwar da zai iya canja rayuwarsa gaba d'aya akan samun evidence kawai... To ta yaya kuwa zai rasa kwarin gwiwar zama da ita kawai?

"Na san a da babu wani abu a tsakaninmu banda karatu kawai da kuma case d'in da aka gama, sai dai ko 'yan uwantakar data b'ullo a yanzu, amma bayan lokacin da muka fara rayuwa a gidan nan, zuciyata ta fara sonki ba tare da tare da nayi la'akari ba."

A wannan lokacin Fadeelah bata san ina tunaninta ya tafi ba ko kuma inda lizamin bakinta ya lula, don d'agowa tayi da sauri ta kalle shi tace.

"Me?"

Kuma kamar bai fahimci cewa tambayar tata bata dace ba, sai ya kawai ya rik'o hannunta duka biyun yace.

"Da gaske nake Fadeelah." Muryarsa tana d'auke ne da wani irin sauti mai zak'i kamar an watsa mata sukari.

"I'm in love with you and I could'nt deny meself saying that, sai a yanzu na fahimci cewa you're the peace I longed and craved for all my life, it may have taken me long to know your worth but you captivate me in ways no soul will ever will and i can't count the reasons why I'm in love with you, specially your eyes... Your eyes hold everything my soul thirst for.

But i won't force you Fadeelah, kina da isashshen lokacin da zaki tunani akan hakan, we have from now till forever, idan har kin ga zaki bamu dama I promise you we will surely work!"

Sanda ya fad'i haka, sai ya murza yatsunta a hankali sannan ya mik'e tsaye, ya tsaya a gabanta kafin ya sunkuyo da fuskarsa a hankali daidai saitin tata sannan yayi abinda bata tab'a tsammmani ba, ya sumbaci goshinta a hankali, d'umin lebb'ensa ya sauka akan fatarta.

"Kiyi tunanin hakan a hankali lealah... Sai dai safe."

Ya fad'i hakan akan fatarta ba tare da ya matsa ba sai ta dunk'ule yatsun k'afarta ba tare da niyya ba. A hankali ya janye fuskarsa kkafin ya juya tafi.

Ya tafi ya barta a wani yanayin da bata san sunansa ba ko duniyar da yake shirin kai ta, kuma kamar an saka wani abu ne a lik'e ta a jikin kujerar da take kai ta kasa ko motsi balle ta d'ago ta tabbatar in har shi d'in ne da gaske, sannan kuma a hankali wani abu ya shiga tasowa tun daga k'asan zuciyarta taji kamar tana nutsewa ne a cikin kogin farin ciki amma kuma mai zafi, saboda haka bata san lokacin da ta rufe idanunta ba sannan a hankali hawaye mai d'umi ya gangaro ta k'asansu.

****

Washegari, 8:30 am.

Tana tsaye a jikin wardrobe tana kokarin zab'ar kayan da zata saka, bayan ta gama had'a karin safe ne kamar kowacce safiya ta shiga tayi wanka, sai dai a yau ta rasa kayan da zata saka, duk wanda hannunta ya kai kansa sai taga kamar bai dace da sawar wannan lokacin ba, idonta ya kai kan wayarta dake kan gado, ko dai dubawa zata yi a yanar gizo taga irin kalar da yadace ta saka? Amma me zata rubuta? Kayan da ya kamata ta saka a washegarin ranar da mijinta ya fito ya baiyana mata k'aunarsa gareta? Wannan ba mai yiwuwa bane.

Sai kawai ta nemi kan stool d'in mudubi ta zauna rik'e da wasu kayan a hannunta. Ta rufe idanunta a hankali don har a yanzu tana jinta ne kamar mai yawo a sararin sama, sannan idanunta ma na zafi kad'an saboda ta tab'o su a jiya, tayi kukan da ma'anarsa ba zata wuce ta farin ciki ba, farin cikin ganin yadda Allah ke maida duk wani k'alubale a rayuwarta zuwa alkhairi, tun daga lokacin data rabu da mahaifarta har zuwa yanzu da auren Adam ke neman juye mata zuwa farin ciki bata tunanin akwai abinda ya shigo rayuwarta wanda bai zama sanadin wani alkhairin ba.

Ita ba mutum ce mai yarda da mafarki ba, amma da ace jiya bayan tafiyar Adam an samu wani ya mintsene ta, kuma ta farka ta ganta a wani lokacin daban ba