bai san wani irin kallo zai tsinta a idanunta ba.

Fadeelah ta juyo ta kalle shi a lokacin, yana tsaye a jikin doguwar k'ofar kitchen d'in, hasken ranar dake shigowata ta blinds d'in kitchen din ya haska a fuskarsa, hakan yasa taga abinda bata kula dashi a d'azu ba, yayi gyaran fuska da kuma na saje wanda ya sake fik'e kammanin fuskarsa, bakinsa ya motsa cikin wani guntun murmushi da taji har tafin kafarta, sai tayi saurin juyawa ta cigaba da had'a biredin sandwich d'in da take yi.

"Bak'in naki sun tafi?"

Ta tsinci muryarsa tana k'arasowa ciki.

"Eh sun tafi, tace ma in baka hak'uri ko sun tashe ka da wuri, zasu yi tafiya lagos ne yanzu shine tazo min sallama."

Bai amsa hakan ba sai yace.

"Ashe kin fara sabawa da mutane?"

A cikin kanta ta lalubo wani magogi ta shiga goge abinda muryarsa ke k'ok'arin yi a zuciyarta kafin ta bashi amsa.

"Sun dai shigo ne wancan satin mun gaisa kawai, shi yasa tazo min sallama kar naji shiru don tace zasu dad'e basu dawo ba."

Ya gyad'a kansa sanda ya tsaya 'yan taku kad'an da ita inda ta ajiye wani farantin tumatir da take yankawa, k'amshin turarenta wanda ya had'e da na sabulun wanka ya ratsa cikin kwanyarsa, amma a yanzu da yake kusa da ita ba wannan ne yafi d'aukan hankalinsa ba, idanunta... A yau ta saka musu wani zirin bak'i da ya k'ara fito da girma da kuma kyallinsu, hakan ya shiga tsima zuciyarsa sai kawai ya juya ya d'auki wuk'a gefe sannan ya shiga k'arasa yanka tumatir d'in cikin kwarewa kamar wani shahararren chef, abinda ya bawa Fadeelah mamaki kenan, bata san sanda ta kalli yadda hannunsa ke sarrafa wuk'ar ba sannan kuma fuskarsa.

Sai ya girgiza kansa yace. "Idan kina shirin tambaya ko nayi aikin girki ne to A'a."

Muryarsa a sake take kamar mafi yawan lokuta da yake mata magana, saboda haka ta had'iye yawu da kyar sannan ta juya ta cigaba da abinda take yi.

"Ko dai tunani kike ba haka bane?"

Bata ji me yace ba don haka ta d'an tsaya da abinda take yi. "Na'am?"

"Ko kina tunanin ba gaskiya na fad'a ba?"

Ya maimaita mata, sai tayi saurin girgiza kanta ba tare da ta kalle shi ba tace.

"Ta yaya zance ba haka bane, bayan ban san rayuwarka ta baya ba."

Yana cigaba da yankawar yace.

"Tunda baki san komai akaina ba kenan idan na ce miki nayi rawar circus a baya zaki yarda?"

Ta d'an tsaya da abinda take yi sannan ta saki murmushi, maganar ta bata dariya sosai amma sai ta gintse ta hanyar girgiza kanta.

"A'a, banda irin wannan."

"Saboda me?" Ya tambaya.

Ta sake cije lebb'enta don kaucewa yin dariyar da bata san ya akayi ta iya tsallake komai na zuciyarta ta taho ba sannan ta shiga jera biredin akan plate d'in wainar data soya kafin ta amsa.

"Ai baka yi kama da irin wad'annan mutanen ba."

A lokacin ya gama yanka tumatir d'in sannan ya mik'o mata, sai dai ya lura kamar dariya take yi don haka ya fasa bata plate d'in sanda ta mik'o hannu, yace.

"Ba dai wai hango ni kike ina rawar circus d'in ba ko?"

Fadeelah bata san ya akayi ta tsinci kanta a wannan yanayin ba, ta dai ji kawai komai ya kwance mata ne don haka bata san sanda ta juya masa baya ba sannan ta rufe fuskarta da tafin hannayenta shiga yin dariya.

Mamaki ya kama Adam sosai don zai iya rantsewa bai tab'a ganin dariyarta irin haka ba ko lokacin da suna America saboda sautin dariyar na gaske ne dake fitowa a zallarsa, Ba kallon fuskarta yake ba amma ya san dariyar tayi mata kyau sosai, shima kuma tayi masa kyau... Ashe dai samun had'in kanta ba abu ne mai wahala ba? Ashe zai iya shawo kanta cikin d'an k'ank'anin lokaci kamar yadda yake iya janyo hankalin Alkali a kotu? Watakila da gaske ne da mutane ke cewa yana da wata baiwa ta iya yin tasiri a zuciyar mutane.

Ya lumshe idonsa a hankali yana fatan Abubuwa su tafi masa daidai, kuma cikin sa'a sai addu'arsa ta karb'u don a tsakanin wannan asabar da lahadin yayi nasarar sawa Fadeelah ta fara sakin jikinta dashi, don bai je koina ba a weekend d'in kuma bai fasa janta da hira kala-kala ba. A cikin hirar tasu ne kuma ya samu damar bata labarin rayuwarsa ta baya da kuma labarin iyayensa da yadda yadda akayi har yazo Nigeria.

Kuma in har baiyi kuskure ba, ya hangi wani abu kamar tausayawa a idonta sanda yake bata labarin, daga baya ma sai ya fahimci bayan tausayin watakila labarin ya tuno mata da wani abu mara dad'i ne a tata rayuwar, don kallo ta dinga yi masa irin na wanda ke tausayawa wani ba tare da ya san hanyar da zai bi ya gyara al'amarin nasa ba, kuma? bata k'ara cewa komai ba daga nan, ta tsirawa kofin hannunta ido ne kawai tana juya shi ba tare da shan abinda ke ciki ba.

Saboda haka ya matso ya zare shi daga hannunta ya ajiye akan d'an k'aramin table d'in dake gefen kujera... Abubuwan da suka faru dasu a baya sun riga sun shud'e kuma damuwa dasu ba abinda zai canja, don haka kamar yadda ta tab'a fad'a masa a baya ne, kamata yayi su fuskanci abinda ke gabansu kawai. Yace.

"Ki gaya min wani abu game da ke, me kika yi a Nigeria bayan kun dawo?"

Ta gaya mishi cewa ta zana jarabawar shiga jami'a har ma ta sami gurbin karatu a nan jami'ar Abujan, sai dai saboda abinda ya faru a yanzu haka an koma hutu kuma har anci semester guda babu ita.

"Kina ganin zaki koma ne ko kuma zaki canja makaranta?" Ya tambaye ta bayan ta kai k'arshe.

Sai ta juyo ta kalle shi, wanan kyallin idanun nata ya k'ara tsima shi, sai ya d'auke kansa tun kafin zuciyarsa ta bashi shawarar wani abu daban. Da gaske yake in har bata son komawa waccan makarantar zai nemo mata private university mai kyau wadda za'a iya samu su shiga sabon session a yanzu.

"A'a, na yanke shawarar ajiye semester ne kawai sai in koma wani session d'in, bana jin Daddy zaiji dad'i in har na canja."

"Kinyi reporting hakan?"

"A'a, amma munyi maganar da Mami tace zata je."

Mami, Mami. Bai san sau nawa ta ambaci sunan matar nan ba tun sanda suka fara magana, babu ta yadda wani zai ce ba mahaifiyarta ce ba in har bai sani ba, ta riga ta bata wani matsayi mai girma a zuciyarta, kuma bai sani ba ko akwai ragowar irin wannan matsayin a zuciyarta yanzu, daga nan inda yake zaune yana iya jiyo sassanyan k'amshin dake tashi daga jikinta wanda ke kokarin haddasa masa tunani kala-kala a cikin ransa, ya had'iye yawu da kyar yana tunanin watakila watarana zai duba d'akinta yaga sunan wannan turaren.

"Ina so in fad'a maka wani abu." Muryarta ta shiga kunnensa kai tsaye ba tare da zato ba, kuma kafin ya amsa ta cigaba da cewa.

"Lokacin da aka kaini kurkuku, Kutama yaje ya same ni a can."

Ba shiri ya juyo ya kalleta da tsantsar mamaki, Kutama? Me yaje yi wajenta? Me yayi mata?

"Na san komai ya wuce amma a wajenka irin wannan shari'ar kana yinta ne kullum, shi yasa nake so na fad'a maka koda wata shari'ar zata sake had'a ka dashi."

So yake ta tsallake duk wannan bayanin na gabatarwa ta fad'a masa abinda ya faru kai tsaye kawai, amma saboda tsabar abinda ya fara ji a zuciyarsa game da sunan Kutaman data ambata sai ya kasa tsinto muryarsa.

"Yaje ne da zancen cewa mu sayi wasu shaidu a wajensa in har ina son in samu 'yancina, don wai da wad'annan shaidun biyu kad'ai kotu zata iya yanke min hukuncin kisa ko na d'aurin rai da rai a kurkukun, amma in har muka siya, to zai tattaro komai ya bamu shi kuma ya fasa gabatar dasu a kotun yadda zamu yi nasara, yace min kaima ya same ka da zancen amma baka yarda ba, sai dai na san ba haka bane shi yasa na fad'a maka."

Sanda ta fad'i hakan, Fadeelah taji kwalla na neman cika mata idanu kamar yadda yake faruwa duk ranar da ta tuna rayuwar cikin kurkukun nan da hargitsin cikinta, wutar Nepa ta d'auke a daidai wannan lokacin, watakila kuma a sannan ma maigadi ya zab'i lokacin wajen yin zagaye a unguwa don ba'a kunnan metre solar a take ba kamar yadda ya saba.

Saboda haka duhu ya mamaye koina, kuma manya- manyan labulayen falon suka taimaka wajen hana hasken farin wata shigowa, d'akin yayi dind'im bata iya ganin komai kuma bata iya ganinsa, amma tana iya shak'ar wannan k'amshin da ta dad'e da yiwa tambari da NASA.

"Bayan haka me ya faru?"

"Ban yi niyyar saurarensa ba da farko, amma ya tsayar dani cewar ya san inda ka tafi a lokacin."

"Ya fad'a miki kuma?"

"A'a, yayi amfani da wannan damar ne kawai don in saurare shi."

"Kuma kin yarda dashi a lokacin?"

Muryoyinsu a hankali suke fita suna kanannad'ewa da junansu ta cikin duhun d'akin, kuma tasirin duhun yasa Fadeelah taji kwallar idonta na k'aruwa, saboda haka muryarta na rawa tace.

"Ba zan tab'a yarda da mutum irinsa ba a rayuwata."

Ta yaya kuwa zata yarda dashi? Bayan tana ganin yadda yake dagewa a kotu wajen ganin an hukunta ta saboda wasu 'kud'ad'e kawai da duk yawansu ba zai shafe dogon lokaci yana ganinsu ba, zuciyarta ta matse da tunanin mutane nawa Kutama yasa aka kashe a baya ko kuma aka datsewa rayuwar 'yanci akan gaskiyarsu, wanda itama ba don taimakon Allah ba da tuni ta shiga jerin lissafinsu.

Muryarta ta shaida masa cewa kuka ne ke shirin kwac??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

e mata kuma ya san tunanin halin data shiga a baya ne yasa hakan. Bayan gama shari'ar nan, yasa an tsoratar da kutama tsawon sati biyu da wata takadar bogi ta cewa za'a kore shi daga aiki, don ya riga rantse cewar sai nasa idanun suma sun shiga irin firgici da tashin hakalin da yasa idanun Fadeelah a baya, sai dai da ace bayan ya san wannan?maganar ne, da sai yabi duk hanyar da zai iya a maida takardar nan ta gaske yadda zai shima shafe rabin rayuwarsa yana jin zafin hakan.

Duk da duhun d'akin, yana iya ganin yadda take kai hannunta tana goge hawaye a fuskarta, sannan yana iya jin sautin ajiyar zuciyar da take yi ma, zuciyarsa ta had'e waje d'aya, yana son ya rarrasheta amma kuma yana tsoron kar hakan yaja shi ga yin wani abun daban.

Sai dai bayan wani lokaci ya kasa daurewa zuciyar tasa, kuma bai san sanda ya kai hannu ya kamo nata cikin nasa ba, yaji sanda hannun nata yayi rawa kad'an amma kuma daga nan bai k'ara jin komai ba don taushinsa kamar na wani sabon pillow ne mai laushin gaske.

"Nasha wuya sosai a wajen nan..." Bai zata ba amma muryarta ta sake fitowa cikin kuka, a shirye don fitar da d'acin dake damunta.

"... 'yan kwanaki ne kad'an amma naji kamar an canja ni zuwa wata duniyar ne, duk irin wahalar dana sha a babban gida ba d'aya bace da wannan wajen, shi yasa ya nemi ya tsorata ni da hakan don in yarda dashi, ban san kuma yaya zanyi ba da ace..."

D'aya hannunsa ya samo kuncinta a lokacin, ya shiga share hawayenta da babban yatsansa yayin da sassanyan k'amshinta mai dad'i ke juya masa kwakwalwa, sannan a hankali ya sunkuya daidai kunnenta ya rad'a mata,

"Komai ya wuce lealah, insha Allah daga yanzu ba abinda zai k'ara shigowa rayuwarki sai alkhairi..!"

A wannan lokacin Fadeelah bata san ko kuka take yi ko kuma k'ok'arin nemo hanyar da iska zata shiga kirjinta ba.

***

BAYAN NA MUTU!

?AYSHA SHAFI'EE

43

(&_&)

Komai yana tafiya ne daidai a cikin wannan satin, a yanzu shi da ita sun sami fahimtar juna sosai, don a cikin 'yan kwanaki kawai Adam yayi nasarar zabge fiye da kashi saba'in na waccan rayuwar da suka fara a cikin sati biyu.

Yana mutukar k'okarin ganin cewa yayi duk abinda zai ja hankalinta don ta fahimce shi duk sanda ya tashi sanar da ita cewa wancan alkawarin da yayi mata ba mai faruwa bane, ba don komai sai don su raya fatan su Kawu Ibrahim akansu kuma watakila don a yanzu ya fahimci cewa yana son matarsa kuma baya son rabuwa da ita. He just kept falling for her, one of the few things he think gravity can't explain.

Fadeelah ta zama duniyarsa a yanzu, ya gane cewa zuciyarsa ta karb'eta tun daga ranar daya fara tozali da idanunta, abinda ya hana shi gane hakan tun a baya shine, saboda abubuwa sun danne zuciyarsa bai maida hankalinsa kanta sosai ba, amma a yanzu da komai ya lafa ya zama daga ita sai shi... Ya fahimci ya dad'e da k'aunarta, don abinda yake ji game da ita yana tasowa ne tun daga k'asan zuciyarsa, musamman in ta kalle shi da wad'annan idanun nata dake karya duk wani kuzarinsa.

Tana k'ara shiga cikin zuciyarsa a duk sanda yake tare da ita, tana k'ara burge shi da calm personality d'inta wanda ke mannewa a zuciya da ruhin duk wanda ke tare da ita, bata da magana can sosai, amma duk sanda take magana muryar nan tata na fita a hankali, mantawa yake da komai na duniyar nan sai ita kawai, ita dashi da kuma gidansu.

Tsawon rayuwarsa a baya, bai tab'a saka aure cikin lissafinsa ba balle har ya dinga hango kansa a ciki, amma a yanzu da k'addara ta kawo shi cikinsa kuma ya saba da matar tasa, baya jin zai iya wata rayuwa mai kyau a gaba in har ba tare da ita ba, shi yasa ba abinda zuciyarsa ke fata irin ya k'are rayuwarsa da ita har ma su had'a zuri'a... Zauciyarsa ta matse da tunanin halittar da zata zama combination dinsa shi da ita, watakila ko mace ce ko namiji, babyn zai iya d'auko siffar wad'annan idanun nata...

Ya kan tsayar da kansa duk sanda tunaninsa ya fara zurfi haka, don ya san hakan ba abu ne mai faruwa ba sai in har ya gaya mata manufar wancan alk'awarin da yayi mata kafin ta shigo gidansa kuma ta yarda dashi, amma har yanzu ya gaza samun damar hakan, saboda a kullum ya koma gida ya tarar da ita cikin simple kwalliyarta mai kyau tana jiransa, sai gwiwarsa ta durk'ushe, ya rasa kwarin da zai?iya gaya mata cewa shi da ita yanzu abu d'aya ne, ba zasu tab'a iya rabuwa ba ko da kuwa duniyar kaf zata kama da wuta!

A b'angaren Fadeelah, babban abinda bata gane ba har yanzu shine meye manufar da Adam zai kyautata zamansu in har bashi da buk'atar cigaba da zama da ita? Me yasa zai haifar da hira da shak'uwa tsakaninsu bayan ya san zai kasance a rayuwarta ne na d'an lokaci kawai? Me yasa zai ginata don ya ruguza ta?

Yana kallonta ne a kullum kamar ita kad'aice abu mafi muhimmanci da ta rage a duniya, yana bata wata tsananin kulawar dake sawa ta manta duk hargitsin rayuwarta ba baya, sannan yana yi mata kirkin daya narkar da duk matakan da ta d'auka akansa da kuma kad'aicin da take ciki a kwanaki.

Bata san ya akayi ba ko me ya faru ba amma tun daga waccan ranar daya rike ta, shashasahar zuciyarta ta ture komai ta karbi abinda lokaci ya bata, don in ma wasa yake da hankalinta to yayi nasara, a yanzu ba abinda zuciyarta tafi sak'awa sai tunanin yaya zata ji duk sanda ya sake rik'eta... ta riga ta manta da wannan alkawarin da yayi mata a baya, ta fad'a cikin yanayin da take gujewa tun farko, don a yanzu ko barinta kawai akayi da yadda ta saba da hirarsa, ta san dole ne zuciyarta ta rugurguje a duk ranar daya tashi sallamarta.

***

A ranar laraba da Adam ya koma gida, Fadeelah na tsaye a cikin falon rik'e da kaskon turaren wuta ta juya tana kokarin zuba turaren, bata san ya shigo ba don da k'arar muryar Tv bata ji motsin bud'ewar kofarsa ba kuma baiyi sallama ba... baiyi sallamar bane don bakinsa ya k'ulle da ganin shigarta.

Shigarta ta wata atamfa nai haske da aka watsa mata adon orange flowers, sannan tayi d'auri tun daga goshinta ya kuma d'age daga baya hakan yasa gashinta ya fito waje, gashinta mai laushi yana d'aure bak'i k'irin dashi cikin katon bun. She just look like the rest of his life! Sai ya rufe idonsa a hankali sannan ya bud'e don ranar shine ganinsa na farko da sumar kanta... wallahi tayi kyau, tayi masifar yi masa kyau!

A lokacin ita kuma ta lura da tsaiwarsa a bakin k'ofar, ta juyo da fuskarta daidai sanda da hayakin turaren wutar ya bad'e fuskarta, amma duk da haka yana iya hango murmushin da take masa, murmushin dake ruguza dukkan wani abu a zuciyarsa in ba tunaninta ba.

Dole ne ma ya ajiye komai a gefe ya gayawa Fadeelah gaskiyar manufar aurensu, don ba lallai ne nan gaba ya iya cigaba da yak'i da zuciyarsa akanta ba, ya gaji da kokarin da yake yi wajen b'oye mata yadda zuciyarsa ke ji game da ita don haka zai fad'a mata gaskiyar komai, amma kuma kafin nan sai ya tanadarwa kansa dauriya don in har bata fahimce shi ba, dole ne ya fuskanci juriya mafi tsanani a rayuwarsa na cigaba da zama tare da ita a haka har zuwa lokacin da zata karb'e shi a matsayin mijinta, don ba zai tilasta mata ba kuma ba zai tab'a rabuwa da ita ba.

Bayan yayi wanka tare da canja kayan jikinsa ne ya gabatar da sallar magriba sannan ya kira Sa'id game da maganar aikin da suke kokarin nemowa Awwal. Daga nan ya fito ya nufi kitchen inda ya same ta kamar kodayaushe tana k'arasa ayyukanta. Ya kai hannu ya kwankwansa kofar kitchen d'in kad'an tare da yi mata sallama.

"Wa'alaikum salam."

Sassanyar muryarta ta amsa masa sanda ta juyo kalle shi, tana nan dai cikin shigarta ta d'azu amma ta gyara d'aurin d'ankwalinta a yanzu, ta hana shi ganin gashinta.

"Me kika dafa mana? Yunwa nake ji."

Tayi murmushi kad'an wanda yake nuna jin kunyarta, yanayin kunyarta dake burge shi a kullum, don abu ne da bai saba gani ba. Fadeelah ta d'an had'iye wani abu a cikin bakinta, ta yarda yana