a cikin zuciyata a kwana biyun nan. Bana son in bude fejin tunaninsa dan bana jin zuciyata zata iya daukan halin da na san yana ciki a yanzu. Na cutar da shi iyakacin cutarwa. Amma kuma bana jin ko da a raina cewa abinda nayi ɗin ba dai dai bane ba. In na gaya masa gaskiya he will stick with me through thick and thin. And I am a walking and breathing tragic bomb waiting to explode. Bana son stains ɗina ya bata white ɗin sa. So nake ya tsane ni tsanar da zata saka ya manta da ni kar ya cigaba da bibiyata. So nake ya samu wadda ta dace dashi yayi aurensa ya gina kyakkyawar rayuwar sa da iyalinsa. Irin kyakkyawar rayuwar da muka fara tsarawa zamuyi ni da shi.

Na fara kokarin picturing dinsa ya yanzu, ko me yake yi? Ko yayi bacci? Na duba agogo naga karfe tara, meaning karfe takwas kenan a Nigeria. Na san bai yi bacci ba yanzu. Ten mostly yake yin bacci. A wannan lokacin mostly mukan kasance muna yin waya ne. Na fara kokarin picturing dinsa a dakin sa. Bana jin akwai wani bangare a dakin sa wanda ban sani ba saboda yawan FaceTime da muke yi idan yana dakin. Na tina da wata hira da muka taba yi a cikin irin hirarrakin mu na planning rayuwar mu.

****.     ****.     ****.    ****.    ****.     ***

"And you will look so handsome in white"

Ya bata fuska "and who told you white zan saka?" Nace "angwaye ai white suke saka wa ranar daurin aure, and I will wear white lace with golden veil and we will snap pictures, irin Mr and Mrs din nan" yayi dariya "ohh Piya, so you think I am like most people da zanyi abinda most people suke yi? I am special. I will wear something special" nace "okay to menene special ɗin, wacce color zaka saka? Pink or yellow?" Ya kyalkyale da dariya, sai kuma ya juya bayansa yana kallon kofa "kinga kin saka ni ina ta dariya a daki ni kadai, kar mutanen gidan nan suce nuts din kaina sun kwance" nace "to ka bani amsa mana. Kasan kuwa har na hango ka ka saka yellow shadda ranar daurin aure?" Ya kuma yin dariya, fuskarsa cike da nishadi dan lokacin bashi da wata matsala a duniya.

Nace "am serious fa farar shadda zaka saka" yace "to wai saboda me zan saka fara?" Na turo baki na kwabe fuska kamar zanyi kuka har da bubbuga hannuna akan katifar da nake zaune  "ni dai Allah sai ka saka fara, Allah in baka saka ba ranar kuka zanyi tayi" yace "okay okay shagwababbiyar Daddy. Naji zan saka fara, amma ba shadda ba, sai dai yadi" na danyi tunani sai kuma na gyada kai cikin nuna amincewa "okay. Allah ya taimake ka. Ranar da ka sha rigima" yace "in dai rigimar ki ce ai na saba da ita, in an tashi kawo kayan lefenki har da zanin goyo za'a saka. Dan naga alamar in kika fara wata rigimar sai na goya ki sannan zaki yi shiru".

Na rufe fuska ta ina dariya, yace "am serious fa. That's something I can do. I just can't wait for the time".

****.    ****.    ****.    ****.    ****.    ****.   

A cikin tunanin bacci ya dauke ni. A cikin baccin ne kuma nayi mafarki da shi. Sai dai a cikin mafarkin ba dariya yake kyalkyalawa ba, in fact fuskarsa a murtuke take da irin kallon da yayi min ranar da muka rabu dashi. Ina tsaye a kofar office dinsa hannayena biyu rike da cikina.

"I hate you" ya fada min cikin dacin murya.

"I hate you more than I have ever loved you"

"You are the worst creature that have ever walked the surface of this earth"

Sai kuma ya dauko bindiga daga cikin aljihunsa ya harbe ni da ita a kirji dai dai saitin zuciya ta. Na saki cikin da sauri na dafe kirjin. Ina cewa "I am sorry Muhammad. I am very sorry"

Ji nayi an rike kafaduna duk biyun ana girgiza ni da karfi. "Safiyya? Ke Safiyya" da muryar Mommy. Na bude ido na a firgice saura kadan in fadi daga kan gado, sai a lokacin na fahimci, mafarki nake yi, daga alama kuma maganganun da nake yi a mafarkin sun fito fili. Nayi kokarin daidaita numfashina tare da karanto addu'a, sannan na dafe kaina da hannu daya, har a lokacin ina jin amsa kuwwar muryar Muhammad. "I hate you"

Mommy tace "wanne irin mafarki kike ne haka Safiyya? Waye kuma Muhammad?" Nayi sauri na kalle ta idanuna a bude. "uhmm Muhamm... Waye Muhammad?" Na mayar mata da tambayar, tace "to ni kya tambaye ni? Ke kike ambatar Muhammad cikin baccin ki kina bashi hakuri" na girgiza kaina "ni ban san wani Muhammad ba. Mafarki ne kawai. Ni ba zan iya tuna mafarkin ma da nayi ba" sai nayi sauri na koma na kwanta tare da jan bargo na lullube har fuska ta tare da rufe idona da karfi ina sauraron yadda zuciya ta take bugawa da karfi, bakina yana furta "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" ni na san a yanzu idan Mommy da Mustapha zasu hada informations din da suke da su a guri daya, to tabbas zasu iya tracing Gidado. And I can't imagine anyi knocking gidan su gidado an gayawa iyayensa cewa yayi wa dalibar sa ciki.

Wannan mugun tunanin shi ya yanke min dukkan baccin wannan daren

****.    ****.    ****.    ****.     ****.     ****

*Him 👳🏻*

Kwanaki biyun nan suna daga cikin worse days of Gidado's life. Gabakidaya kwanaki biyun a daki yayi su, highest da ya fito shine parlor ya gaishe da Abba ya juya ya koma. In an tambaye shi me yake damunsa sai yace bashi da lafiya. Babu abinda bai ce yana damunsa ba. Yace kansa ne yake ciwo yace cikinsa, da daddare kuma da Mama ta shiga har daki ta matsa masa da tambaya sai yace kwakwalwar sa ce take ciwo.

It should be funny but it didn't sound funny to Mama, dan sosai hankalin ta yake a tashe akan halin da gudan ranta yake ciki. It also didn't sound funny to Gidado dan shi a lokacin da ya faɗa din har ga Allah ji yake yi da gasken kwakwalwar tasa ciwon take yi, sai dai kuma bai san yadda zai misalta ciwon ba.

Zuwa lokaci kowa a gidan ya fahimci halin da yake ciki, zuwa lokacin kuma kowa ya fahimci koma menene yake damunsa yana da dangantaka da Safiyya, saboda dama kowa a gidan ya san da zaman Safiyya ya kuma san da girman matsayin ta a zuciyar Gidado, har Abba.

Sai dai duk da cewa sun san abin ya shafe ta amma basu san takamaiman menene ya faru ba, wannan shine abinda Mama take ta tambaya amma ta kasa samun amsa, daga baya dai sai tayi deciding tayi involving dan'uwansa kuma abokinsa, tana saka ran zai iya gaya masa abinda su ba zai iya gaya musu ba. Bayan ta yanke wannan shawarar sai ta kira Al'ameen a waya, wanda yake aboki kuma first cousin a gurin Gidado ta kuma nemi da yazo gidan ya duba halin da dan'uwan na sa yake ciki kuma suyi magana.

Da yamma bayan ya taso daga gurin aikinsa ya zo gidan, ya gaishe da Mama ta tambaye shi lafiyar mahaifiyarsa Mami da amaryarsa Humaira, ya sunkuyar da kai yana jin kunya, sai kuma ya mike ya tafi dakin Gidado.

Ya shiga ya tarar dashi a zaune akan sallaya ya jingina bayan sa da jikin gado yana jan carbi, idonsa a rufe sai bakinsa da yake motsawa a hankali. Ya zauna a kan kujera yana kallon sa, daga inda yake yana iya lura da yadda idanuwansa suka fada ciki kuma fatar idon tayi baki.

"Muhammad" ya kira sunansa. Ya bude idon ya kalle shi sai kuma ya mayar da su ya rufe ya cigaba da jan carbin sa. Al'ameen yayi ajjiyar zuciya yace "ba tun yau ba na gaya maka. That girl is going to be the death of you" Gidado ya kuma bude idonsa yace "congratulations. You predicted right" Al'ameen ya sauko ya zauna a kusa da shi yace "ba haka nake nufi ba, believe me, I cannot say na san exactly me kake feeling right now but I know what loving a girl deeply means" bai ce mishi komai ba sai ya kuma mayar da idon ya rufe.

Al'ameen yace "me ya faru?" Yayi shiru bai ce komai ba. Al'ameen ya sake tambaya "did you guys break up?" Gidado ya a girgiza kansa yace "no" sai kuma yayi nodding yace "yes. I guess we did. I don't know" Al'ameen yace "me kake nufi da you don't know. What happened?"

Gidado yayi shiru kamar ba zai ce komai ba sai kuma yace "she is.....she said she is.....she told me that she is....... I saw that she is...." Ya hadiye yawu ya kai sau biyar amma kalmomin sun kasa fitowa. Al'ameen yayi kokarin taimaka masa "she is with someone else? She loves someone else?" Gidado ya girgiza kai "no...... Yes. I mean..." Yayi ajjiyar zuciya sannan a hankali yace "I mean she has been with someone else all along. She is married. She has been married all along ".

Al'ameen ya bude ido yana kallon sa cikin mamaki. Ya motsa bakinsa amma ya kasa magana. Gidado yace "what a fool I have been" Al'ameen ya girgiza kansa "she is lying. Karya tayi maka. Tana so ta rabu da kai ne shine tayi maka karya" Gidado ya sake girgiza kansa yace "no.... Ba karya take yi ba. I saw it da idona. She is pregnant. I saw her pregnant. She told me she has been married all along" Al'ameen ya gyara zamansa yana kare wa dan'uwan nasa kallo cikin mamaki "kai! Haba! It cannot be. Shekarar ka nawa da yarinyar nan. How can you not know? Ta yaya za'a yi ta iya boye magana kamar wannan" Gidado ya daga kafada "I don't know" Al'ameen ya sake cewa cikin fada "karya take yi fa. Ni nace maka karya take yi fake ciki ta saka a jikinta. There is no way da zaka kasa gane kana tare da matar aure for almost three years. Yadda kuke da ita there is no way da mijinta ba zai gane tana tare da wani ba. My guess is ta samu wani ne and she wants to ditch you shine tayi maka wannan karyar just to break you yadda zaka fi rabuwa da ita"

Gidado ya mayar da idonsa ya rufe yana jin ciwon kansa yana karuwa. "I don't know what to believe Ya Ameen. A yanzu haka yaki akeyi a tsakanin zuciya ta da ƙwaƙwalwa ta. Zuciya ta tana son creating all the excuses in the world dan ta kare ta. Ƙwaƙwalwa ta kuma tana kokarin sanin gaskiya. Ni kuma babban abinda nake son sani shine 'why?' idan har da gaske tana da auren me yasa tayi dating dina ta saka min gubar soyayyar ta a cikin jijiyoyin jiki na sannan ta zabi yanzu dan ta watsar da ni. Idan kuma karya take yi kamar yadda kace me yasa zata yi min karyar" Al'ameen ya dafa kafadunsa da hannayensa biyu yace "saboda kamar yadda na gaya maka ta samu wani, someone da take tunanin is better than you. Dama can ba son ka take yi ba". Gidado ya ture hannun sa daga kafadar sa yace "idan akwai abinda nake da tabbas akan shi a cikin duk wannan maganar shine Piya tana so na. I will never believe cewa ba ta so na. Something...." Al'ameen yace "haa.. this is your heart talking. Dan tana son ta. Kamar yadda kace, tana kokarin kare ta ne kawai. How can she love you and then do this to you?".

Gidado yace "i don't know. Shine abinda nake ta kokarin sani nima. Shine abinda zan iya sadaukar da komai a yanzu dan in sani. Sai dai bani da yadda zanyi in sani ɗin. Ta toshe duk wata hanya da zan bi in sani, ko kuma at least in ganta, she blocked me" ya fada yana nuna wa Al'ameen wayarsa kamar a jikin screen din ne aka rubuta haka.

Al'ameen ya karbi wayar yana kallon hoton jiki yana girgiza kai, a ransa yana matukar tausayin dan uwan nasa saboda yasan zafi da kuma zakin so, ya kuma fahimci soyayyar tayi wa Gidado mugun kamu, sai dai bai yi dace ba. So baiyi masa adalci ba.

Ya mika masa wayarsa yace "Muhammadu...... You should stop thinking about how to see or talk to her. You should start thinking about how to forget about her. Mama da Abba are very worried. She is not worth that. Nothing is worth that". Gidado yace "I can't. Ba zaka gane ba Ya Ameen. Ko da zan manta da ita ɗin ina bukatar in san gaskiya. Ina bukatar in ganta mu zauna muyi magana ta fahimtar juna ni da ita. In san ko akwai wani abu da yake damunta.."

Al'ameen ya mike tsaye, baya son yaji haushin Gidado amma kuma ya kasa hana kansa. Yace "okay taso muje gidan su sai mu tambaya" Gidado ya kalle shi bai ce komai ba dan ya fahimci bakar magana yake gaya masa, ya sake cewa "ko kuma ka kira wani a cikin yan gidan su kaji abinda yake faruwa. Ko babbar kawarta haka, ai nasan ita ma zata sani". Gidado ya jingina kansa a jikin bango yana jin kamar ya tashi ya shake Al'ameen. Al'ameen yace "ohh haka ne fa. Na manta. Baka san ko daya a cikin wadannan ba. How are you going to know the answers to those questions kuma?".

Sai kuma ya dawo ya tsuguna a gaban Gidado yace "look Muhammad, there is no way da budurwar da take son saurayi, so na gaskiya kuma na aure, zata ki kaishi gidan su, zata kuma hana shi sanin kowa nata, for over two years. A cikin biyu dole akwai daya. Ko dai rage dare kawai take yi da shi ba sonsa take ba, ko kuma kamar yadda ta gaya maka, matar aure ce take cin amanar mijinta da kai. I know it is hard Muhammad, but you must see reasons. You must be strong and accept the truth. You must let go ko ba dan kan ka ba ko dan mahaifanka" Gidado ya gyada kai, ba tare da ya bude idonsa ba yace "thank you " Al'ameen ya mike zai fita, har ya kai kofa Gidado yace "Muhammad. Kar ka gaya musu please. Kar ka gaya wa Mama".

Sai da yaji alamar ya bar dakin sannan ya bude idonsa yana kallon kofar da Al'ameen din ya fita ta cikinta, amma ba kofar yake kallo ba dan hankalin sa yana can wani gurin daban. Ya dauki wayarsa a gurin da Al'ameen ya bar ta ya kalli hoton kan screen din zuciyarsa taki amince masa da first maganar Al'ameen cewa Safiyya bata son sa tun farko, ba ya jin kuma zai taba yarda da hakan.

Ya tuna da rana ta biyu daya sake ganinta a rayuwar sa bayan haduwarsu ta farko a jirgi. Haduwar su ta biyu ta kasance ne shekara bakwai bayan ta farkon. Bayan ya gama first and second degree dinsa ya dawo yayi service. Shekaru bakwai sun wuce amma bai manta da yarinyar da ya taɓa haduwa da ita a jirgi ba. Kuma can a kasan zuciyarsa yana fatan zai kuma haduwa da ita.

****.     ****.    ****.    ****.    ****.     ****

A hankali yake tafiya a motar sa, yana juya stirring cikin nutsuwa zuciyarsa cike fal da farin cikin da bai san dalilin sa ba, amma yana tunanin akan maganar da suka yi da Abba ne dazu. Ya kunna kida kadan kadan yana tashi yana kara masa nishadi, a ransa yana lissafa rayuwarsa and how successful everything has been going for him. 

Yayi dialing number ɗin abokinsa da ya fito nema "kai ya? Gani fa a junction ɗin, ina zan juya" abokin yayi dariya yace "kai fa matsala ta da kai baka san gari ba. Abeg I can't direct you, ask Google map" ya katse wayar. Gidado yayi dan karamin tsaki "karamin dan is, sai in fasa zuwa ma" ya cigaba da driving a hankali da hannu daya dayan hannun kuma yana kokarin nemo direction din inda zai je. Ya dago kai dan tabbatar da inda yake. A lokacin ne ya ganta.

Tana tsaye a gaban mota hannunta daya rike da key din mota dayan kuma rike da jakarta. Fuskar ta a murtuke da alamar bacin rai. Ga uwar ranar da ake kwallawa a ranar. Kallo daya yayi mata ya dauke kai ya cigaba da abinda yake yi, har motar sa ta gota inda take sai kuma ya dago kai da sauri ya sake kallon ta ta mirror din motar. Gabansa ya fadi yana ganin kamar yasan fuskar. Yayi slowing down ya sake gyara mirror dinsa dan yana kare mata kallo. Yaji wani excitement ya shige shi. Komai na features din fuskarta suna nan kamar yadda yake tuna wa da su but more matured, no longer child like but lady like. More feminine. More beautiful. More beautiful than he had ever imagined she would be.

Ya tuno da ranar da suka hadu a cikin jirgi. Surutun da ta ringa yi masa, tsokanar sa da ta ringa yi, da kuma yadda suka rabu. Ita ta riga shi fita daga jirgin a ranar dan air hostess ce ta dauko mata jakarta daga inda ta barta ta taho gurinsa, ta kuma zo suka fita tare. A arrival yayi ta baza idon ko zai sake ganin ta amma bai ganta ba. He then wondered ko paths dinsu zasu sake crossing later in life.

And it did ...

Sai dai kuma bashi da tabbas din