mana uzuri, nida Uwar taki, ni banida say! Sannan banida uzurin baki”.
Kuma har zuciyarsa har ga Allah hakane, ya zata ta sani, da gaske bashi da say akan lamarinsa da Aisha, tunda shima rana daya kawai ya ganta a Argentina.
Bai san ta ina zai fara gayawa Kiki hakan ba, shiyasa ya kashe maganar da cewa baida abin cewa. Haka dai suka samu suka yi ta lallabata, har suka samu ta daina kuka da korafin an boye mata din.
Ta koma kallon Aisha da Hamma tana ta murmushin farin ciki.
Aisha ta dauki kayan Kiki zuwa dakinta, don Uncle yace ma Kiki ga mukullin nata dakin ta share kamarbata ji shi ba, tana tafiya zuwa dakinta da kayan Kiki yace “ko baki ji bane Aisha?” Aisha tace ba tareda ta juyo ba “a’ah, nawa dakin zai ishemu, a dakinta Kiki zata sauka”.
Sai ya rabu dasu kawai.
Da suka shiga dakin Aisha, Kiki ta kama kugu tana kallon ko’ina na dakin, taga ba’a canza masa komai ba daga yadda ta san shi, dakinda Mamanta da Nenne ke sauka a gidan ne, yana nan yadda yake sai kace ba sabuwar amarya aka kawo ba.
Aishah bata lura da me Kiki ke sakawa a ranta ba a lokacin, wato dole ma Uncle ya saka ma Aisha sabbin furniture, ta tambayi Kiki ko me take son ci ta dafa mata sharp-sharp?
Ko itama order din za’a yo mata irin wanda ake yiwa Babanta kullum?”
Kiki ta kama baki tace “ban gane ba? order kamar yaya? Kina nufin ba ke kike dafa masa abinci ba tun da kika zo?”
Aisha ta girgiza kai tace “Kiki to meye abin mamaki a ciki? Watakila ya riga ya saba dana inda yake sawa wannan Pareto din yake ko wa ya karbo masa nan kusa da mu.
Maiyuwuwa ko yafi jin dadin wanda ya riga ya saba dashi dinne, bai fi sau uku ya taba cin abincina ba shima sama-sama, ko na dafa tare dashi na masa tayi cewa yake min “ya gode, he is okay!”.
Kiki tace “tab! Ke kuma kika kyale shi yana cin abincin restaurant alhalin kina cikin gidansa? To zaman me kike? Meye amfaninki?
Ai kawai Aisha tashi mu shiga kitchen in ma baki iya Yoruba cuisines ba daga yau ki fara koyo, don kuwa Uncle maso abinci ne baya wasa da cikinsa.
Kinsan yana Polo. Duk mai Polo kuwa na bukatar abinci mai fa’idah. Daga yau kada ki kara bari a shigo miki da abincin sayarwa gida, haba Sidddiqah kada kiyi saken da Uncle zai raina min ke.
Ko kin iya ko baki iya ba haka zai daure ya dinga ci har hannun ki ya fada”.
“Balle ma Kiki na iya fa, duk yawancin abubuwan da ake sayo masa dinnan ba wanda Nenne bata koyamin ba”.
Kiki tace “wallahi to da sake, sai mun gyarawa Uncle zama”. Sosai ta baiwa Aisha dariya.
Kiki ko hutawa bata yi ba, sallah kawai tayi ta aje mayafi tace da Aisha suje su shiryama Uncle abincin dare.
Wani nau’in abincin Yarbawa Kikin ta ce su yi mai suna Ewa Agoyin, da ake yi da wake, tace tasan Uncle AK na matukar son shi tun yana yaro, musamman idan yaje Ilorin sai yace Aunty Murja tayi masa shi.
Kiki ce karfin aikin don Aisha bata san yadda ake yin Ewa Agoyin din ba, ta bude ido sosai tana koyo, don Aisha is a fast learner, sannan suka dora ‘Ofada rice’ da zasu hada ‘Ewa Agoyin’ din da ita.
Suna girkin Kiki ta gaya mata da niyyar yin kwana biyu ta zo Argentina, amma saboda ita yanzu kwana bakwai zata yi sannan ta wuce makarantarsu a Los Angels.
Siddiqa don murna kamar ta yi yaya, da jin cewa Kika zata yi mata sati.
Suka kammala girkin suka kai suka jera a dining, suka gyara wajen abin gwanin ban sha’awa duk kamshin spices ya turare gidan, lokacin Uncle ya fita, ba su ci nasu ba duk da suna jin yunwa. Kiki ta ce su jira shi komai dadewar da zai yi, ta ce.
Ta dinga cin abinci tare da Uncle zai zame musu hanyar samun karin shakuwa da fahimtar juna don ta fahimci dukkansu wani baya – baya suke da juna.
Suna nan zaune a ‘sitting room’ suna jiran dawowar Prince har karfe takwas na dare bai dawo ba, Kiki ta soma hamma saboda gajiya, sai sannan suka jiyo motsin shigowar motarsa gidan.
Prince ya shigo rike da ledar take-away dinsa na abincin dare, ga ‘Ice-Cream’ a wata ledar daban ya riko ma Kiki don ya santa da son Ice-Cream.
Aka ce albarkacin kaza kadangare kan sha ruwan kasko, sai ya kasa sayo daya, ya sayo musu duk su biyun, a sannu ya isa ga dining ya dora ledojin hannunsa da ya shigo dasu. Nan ya ga abincin da aka shirya a wurin cikin tsari mai ban sha’awa. Ga kamshin turaren wuta na tashi a falon ya hade da kamshin girkin nasu.
Kiki da Aisha har suna hada baki wajen yi masa barka da zuwa. Ya amsa yana cewa Kiki su dauki ledar can ice-cream ne a ciki kada ya narke. Ya samu waje kusa da Kiki ya zauna cikin gajiya, yace a ransa dashi wani maigidana ne na hakika tausa zai so ayi masa.
Dan murmushi ya subuce masa, yana dago kai ya ga Aisha na satar kallonsa, yayi bala’in kyau cikin ‘casual wears’ marassa nauyi ruwan toka dake jikinsa. Kayan sun maida shi yaro mai tashen talatin da biyar.
Kiki ta karya kai tace,
“your dinner is ready Uncle, Ewa Egoyin and Ofada rice, tuntuni kai muke jira kazo mu ci”.
A hankali ya dubi Aisha jin ta ki magana ita, yace “Kiki kun min jagwalgwalo dai”.
“Wallahi ba jagwalgwalo bane, try us, sai an gwada akan san na kwarai”. Ta fada tana serving kowannensu a faranti daban, sai ta hada nashi dana Aisha a plate daya, tace “Uncle wannan ma ai ba yi bane, kana da mata a gida kana shigo da takeaway, me ka dauke mu ne?”
Dariya Kiki ta bashi sosai, sai kace irin manyan matan nan, a hankali Hamma ya ce mata.

“BABIES!”

Wato jarirai ya daukesu. Alhalin idon shi na kan Aisha, wadda ta sunkuyar da kai, duk ta kasa sukuni sabida yawan kallon da Uncle ke mata yau.
Sanda suke su biyu a gidan hardly ya daga ido ya dubeta sau biyu. Yanzu kuwa ta hada ido dashi a duk dagowarta ya kai sau takwas. Zuwan Kiki yasa ya sake sosai a gidansa abinsa.
“Babies dinka sun girma Uncle. Duk sun isa aure. Don Allah ka bari. Aisha tace daga yau kada ka kara sayo abinci bata so, bata yarda ba, kuma bata jin dadi, ka bata damarta ta uwargida ta dinga baka daga tukunyarta”.
Prince ya yi kyar da manyan idon shi akan Aisha din, ya ce, “ita bata da baki kece bakinta ko?
Ai na taho da takeaway dina, ku ci abincinku ku kyaleni tunda bata magana ita”.
Kiki sai ta je ta dauke ledar abincin da yazo da ita ta kaita firinji ta jefa ta rufe, ta ce, a shagwabe.
“Uncle bansanka da gwaliya ba, ta yaya Aisha za ta sha wahala ta yi maka abinci da kanta, amma ka barta da shi ka ci na siyarwa na kafirai da basa sallah? Waya sani ma ko sun saka maka naman alade?”
Shi da kansa sai ya kasa bata amsa. Ya kuma ji kyamar abincin takeaway din ya kama shi. Amma shirun nan na Aisha ya dameshi. Don in ba Kiki a gidan ai har wakarta takeyi ta ‘yan Sudan tun daga dakinsa yana jiyowa.
Kuma ta kan kula shin in ya fito, har tayi masa tayin abincinta wani lokacin duk da tasan cewa zai yi ya gode, amma yau daga barka da zuwa bata kara komai ba.
Kiki ta ja musu kujeru uku a dining din ta ce, “Aisha taso mu yi dinner”.
Aisha bata musa mata ba, ta taso daga bisa kujera ta dawo gefensa na dama. Kiki na gefen hagu. Suka saka Hamma a tsakiyarsu duk kunya ta kama Aisha, ganin ta hada kafada da Hamma. Kiki ta yi serving dinsu tare a plate daya, sannan tasa nata daban. Tace “bisimillah”.
Aisha ta kasa ci saboda kunya sai faman juya cokali cikin miyar Ewa Agoyin take.
Yau Uncle na ganin iya shege a wurin Kiki, don cewa tayi,
“Aisha ko sai Uncle ya baki a baki ne?”.


Aisha ta bude idanuwa da baki da hanci tana kallon Kiki, shi kuma Hamma yayi kamar bai ji su ba, yayi bisimillah ya fara cin abincinsa, yana cewa a ransa “Kiki shakiyyar duniya, zaiyi maganinta aure zaiyi mata”.
Shi kansa Prince ya ji banbanci mai yawa tsakanin girkin da yake ci yau, dana African Cuisine dinsa.
Abincin Aisha da yaci kadan a baya, da wannan da yake ci yanzu, dandanonsa yana yin arashi daidai dana girkin Nennensa.
Bai san me ya sa yake ganin attributes din girkin Nenne a tare da girkin Aisha ba.
Don hatta yadda Nenne ke yankan albasa slices haka Aisha take yi tsabar kwas da tayi na shiga kicin tareda Nenne.
Aisha ta ci abinci yau plate daya da Hamma, duk hirar su shi da Kiki suke yi, kuma da harshen yarbanci, batasan meyasa shi yarbancinsa is cool ba, baya kama da fada-fada, a tsanake yake furta abunsa.
Kiki tace ma Hamma akwai bukatar sabbin furniture a dakin Aisha,
“haba Uncle AK! Amarya fa komai sabo dal ake saka mata”.
Zuwa yanzu kam Aisha ta soma tsintar yaren yarbanci sosai fiyeda baya, in anayi ta kan ji, mayarwa ke bata wahala.
Uncle ya baima Kiki amsar da ba sosai ta fahimta ba. Da suka kammala Hamma ya koma daki don yayi wanka, bai kara leko su ba kuma.
Wajen karfe tara sun gama komai na shirin kwanciya, Kiki bata ga Aisha na shirin tafiya ‘master-bedroom’ din Prince ba, tayi wankanta tasa kayan barci sai ta jefa filo akan ‘sofa bed’. Kiki ta kasa shiru ta ce.
“Aisha, ba dai anan zaki kwana ba?”
Da mamaki mai yawa Aisha tace “da a ina nake kwana? Ai tunda nazo nan ne dakina”.
Kiki ta kama baki, “me ya sa ba za ki tafi dakin Uncle ki kwana ba wai? Kina nufin ba daki daya ku ke kwana ba kenan? As in daban – daban ko yaya? To a wanne dalili kuke raba daki a matsayinku na sabbin aure?”.
Aisha ta fiddo ido, ta ce, “Kaiii! In kwana a dakinsa fa ki ka ce Kiki? A’uzubillahi….!!! Subhanallahi!”.
Kiki ta ce, “Me ye haka Aisha? Daga maganar gaskiya ki ke min korar shaidan?”

Aisha ta ce, “Yo ai ni ji na yi kamar kin yi sabo. In kwana dakinsa fa kika ce, Hamma Abdul din? Ni don Allah kada ki kara fadin haka kada ma wani ya ji ki. Wallahi tunda na zo ni ko kofar dakinsa ban taba takawa ba.
Ai sai ki sa ma na fara jin kunyar Uncle AK ina zaman zamana lafiya dashi”.
Kiki ta ce, “Au da ba kya jin kunyar tasa? Ba mijinki ba ne ko ba soyayya ce tsakaninku ba?”
Da sauri Siddiqa ta ce, “ba sai ana son mutum ake jin kunyarsa ba, ni wallahi kallon wani ‘Young Uncle’ dina nake masa, ko irin babban Yayana dinnan, ko kuwa ma, in miki mai gabadaya kamar kanin Babana nake kallonsa.
Yadda dai ke diyarsa kike kallonsa, to nima haka nake kallonsa”.
Kiki ta kasa rike takaicinta, ta harareta sama da kasa kamar manyan idanunta zasu fado kasa, tana cewa.
“Lallai ma Aisha, wannan ‘Hot Uncle’ dinnawa ki ke yi wa RM? (Rashin mutunci) amma kina missing!”.
Aisha ta kyalkyale da dariya tana nuna Kiki, “Look at you, wai Hot Uncle, Old Uncle dai, ba an ce 52 years Hamma yake nema ba?
Ni kuwa baby girl dani sweet 18 malam, ai yadda ki ka dauke shi Babanki, haka ni ma na dauke shi Babana”.
Kiki ta kule, ta ci magani sosai tana hararar Aisha. Ita kuma Aisha ta ci gaba da kyalkyala mata dariyar shakiyanci. ‘Yan tsokanar na Billiri sun motsa. Kiki ta ce.
“Banda sharri kuma, Uncle 42 ne fa ba 52 ba, ke wai wannan Uncle din nawa yadda ya hadu ya hade kike ma shegantaka haka a gabana? Wallahi Aisha sai na naushe ki”.
Kiki ta bi ta da gudu, Aisha ta falla a guje. Suka yi ta zagaye dakin kamar yaran goye, Aisha na cewa, “Wasa nake miki Kiki, kwantas ‘yar Uncle AK!”.
Kiki ba ta fasa binta da gudu ba, tayi rantsuwa sai ta nausheta, sai Aisha ta kwasa a guje tayi hanyar waje don neman mafaka. Wato kofar da za ta fiddata ainahin sitting room din gidan.
Tana bude kofar ba tare da ta lura ba don tsoron kada Kiki ta kamata, daidai za ta fita da gudu ta yi mugun karo da mutum. “Uncle AK in all his glory”.
Sanye Hamma yake da ‘lounge wears’ da suka yi matukar fiddo zahirin surarsa ta ingarman basarake kuma namijin duniya in his forties, ga (8 pack) dinnan ta fito cikin bodycon din da ya saka, ya fito da niyyar magana da Kiki ne daganan ya wuce gun Saheeb ya jiyo tashin dariyarsu da karadinsu tun daga sitting room, kofarsu kuma a bude.
Kawai ya samu kansa da tsayawa a bakin kofar yana kallon yarinta da kurucci zallahrsu, sunata guje-guje, yana kuma sauraron su kalma bayan kalma. Duk maganganunsu ya gama ji tsaf.
Ya sa hannu ya taro Siddiqah don saura kadan ta yi mugun faduwa a gabansa, Kiki kuma na gab da kama ta.
Da matsananciyar faduwar gaba Siddiqa ta dago suka yi ido hudu da Hamma Prince, gata kuma cikin hanunsa gabadayanta, ya samu kansa da kara riketa sosai saboda laushin jikinta, wai yau shine da mace cikin hannunsa! Wani irin kallo ya yi mata mai wuyar fassarawa, ya ce a hankali.
“Old Uncle ko? Kuma Babanki dan 52 years kike aure ko Ayshah?”
Ya cikata, ya juya ya wuce ya barsu a wurin yayi hanyar fita, wajen Saheeb ya tafi domin ya yi masa sai da safe.
Aisha komawa ta yi kamar jikakken tsumma saboda mutuwar jiki, tayi tsaye jingine jikin kofa bayan wucewar Hamma. Kiki ko ta ce me zata yi ba dariyar Allah kasheni in huta ba?
Ta dinga sheka mata dariya ta ce, “Ai gara da ya ji da kunnensa irin tsufan da kike kallonsa da shi”.
Aisha ta dawo gefen Kiki ta zauna. Jikinta ya mutu, bata yi zaton Uncle na jinsu ba, don data ji shi shiru tun dazu ta dauka ya fita ko ya jima da yin barci, da ko kusa bazata fara wannan tabargazar ba, ita tsokanar Kiki take yi, ta kama hannun Kiki cikin sanyin murya tace.
“Gaskiyar magana Kiki, auren nan namu fa babu wanda ya gaya miki me ya kunsa ne, don ba auren na-gani-ina so bane.
Ba wata soyayya tsakanina da Babanki, sai ganin girmansa da nake yi saboda ya girmeni sosai, da albarkacin Nenne ce ta haife shi nake zaune gidannan, shikuma yake mutuntani saboda iyayensa sun karrama ni a idanunsa. Kin-ji kin-ji yadda komai ya wakana”.
Nan ta shiga labarta wa Kiki komai, tun haduwar Ummanta da Nenne a Saudiyya. Har zuwa ranar da Dade ya sako ta a jirgi ta taho Argentina.
“To kin gani Kiki ni da Uncle dinki duk biyayya muka yi ma iyaye shi ya sa tunda na zo nan I feel like Hamma kamar Yayana ne ko wani karamin Uncle dina nake tare da shi. No any other strange feeling bayan wannan”.

Yanzu kam Kiki ta fahimta sosai, ta ce, “Amma Pretty, kin taba yin saurayin da ki ke so ko? Kina mi kama da wadda tayi rashin masoyin dake matukar sonta”
Nan ma Aisha ta baiwa Kiki labarinta da Ishaq Hassan Nafada, daga A har Z, da irin rawar da ya taka a rayuwarta, rabuwar da suka yi ba tareda ko sallama ba bayan tafiyarsa NYSC a